Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
I don't mean to harsh anyone's buzz, because I love mothers and children and all that, but... REALLY, genuinely, how many people actually SINCERELY want to wear even their OWN kid's drawings? Much less pay thousands of dollars for someone ELSE'S kid's drawings?
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
This theoretical child is obviously very advanced. I still don't want to wear it, but all the My Little Pony toys I used to own would like living there very much.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
This feels like a potent Pete The Cat fever dream.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
But back to what I was saying: Why? It doesn't feel luxe to me in any way, and if I don't know the people who did the drawings, why do I care?
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
She appears to be carrying two purses. Is that... one for the top half of the outfit and one for the bottom?
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
... Bring Your Child's Art To Work Day?
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
Bring Your Child's Art To Post-Work Cocktails Day.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
Something just isn't true unless it's written across your chest in cursive by some rando.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
This is like a high-fashion Richard Scarry book.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
Can't I just make this myself with some groovy iron-ons?
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
Well, I DO need those earmuffs, so thanks for that at least.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
That fabric is beautiful. I do not want to wear the word "mommy" on my chest unless my children have given it to me as a name tag at a tea party.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
This could have been very pretty. I'm sorry. I love my mother very much but she ALSO would be like, "... You know, you can just use your words out LOUD to tell me that."
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
Also, this show was about roses. Roses and mothers.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
And sheers. Our THREE chief weapons are roses, mothers, and sheers.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
Roses are red,
Mothers are true.
I am so tired
o=Of seeing SO MANY INCHES OF YOU.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
I look like this every day when I'm coming back from the supermarket.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
I am going to order one for myself that says, "Uncle."
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
I can't tell if this is more normal, or whether it's Stockholm Syndrome.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
This DOES remind me that I need to invest in some fresh flowers.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
Oh, lord, not that again.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
Pretty. I've decided Freida Pinto would find a way to look enviably graceful in that.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
Noodle! I did just read, though, that Anna Wintour supposedly wants to ban babies in Fashion Show audiences. And I actually totally support that. Regardless of whether North West had a tantrum or not, it's just a terrible idea to bring a really young child into that situation. There's a woman who brought a VERY newborn baby to Christian Siriano in September, and brought it back in February, and like... it's loud, the lighting is weird, there are SO MANY PEOPLE pushing and jostling to get in and out... I'm Team Wintour on this one, I think.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
For a second I thought this said BOOGIE TIME and strangely I liked it better.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
I cannot WAIT to take those to the gym. The treadmill will bow and quake at my every step.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2015 runway
And then there was something totally normal and nice. The End.