Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
I don't even care what this dress actually looks like; this photo is amazing. It feels like a Big Finish but I couldn't withhold it that long.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
Calf plumage is so hot for fall.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
This lady stole her boyfriend's guardsman busby for her walk of shame, and is about to get him fired.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
Whereas this one just forgot to wax her thighs.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
I want to turn those pants into a skirt, and then... make a totally different outfit.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
She can't wear this to Buffalo Wild Wings anymore because the entire bar used pieces of her fringe to floss their teeth.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
This is a mint chocolate chip sundae. Or maybe that was what I ate for dessert. Who can say.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
I kind of love the orange gown in the background there; the one in front is so shapeless and dreary by comparison.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
Clearly this dress began life somewhere with a hosepipe ban, irretrievably crippling its garden growth.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
That bodice is so unflattering, but when either of the Emmas -- Stone or Watson -- wears this, I will probably think it's charming, because that's how they work.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
This looks like a woman in a four-year old child's dress. Amal Alamuddin, BACK AWAY. We know how you feel about this label and its micro-hemlines. RESIST.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
I might love this, though. On a woman drinking Champagne on a fabulous hotel balcony in France, while ignoring all the sleaze balls who are trying to take her home, because she is way too busy being professionally and personally fabulous for those losers.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
Sigh.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
This woman looks a little bit groovy, though.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
Don't shrink your clothes, y'all.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
WAY overcomplicated, but not the worst of it.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
Diane Kruger, anyone?
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
I just wish the middle bit didn't look so much like a diaper.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
NO AMAL STOP DON'T.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
I like this, sort of, but the color combination is REALLY cacophonous.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
I shouldn't like this, and practically speaking I don't really, but I am enjoying it in this context.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
Some of these patterns felt quite Chanel to me.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
For a moment I thought those earrings were a giant collar, and it was almost delicious.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
WHEREFORE ART THOU, SWINTON?
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
Hooray. Another one of these. Just what the world needed O PRAISE BE.
Giambattista Valli Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2015
Meh. But my backstory on this one is that she crashed her ex-boyfriend's wedding during the bouquet toss and marched STRAIGHT through it and then punched the cake on her way out.