Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
I read an article about how the Paris runways prove the sheer trend is ending, and... well, nobody told Nicolas Ghesquiere. This thing is a straight-up hallucination.
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
I could see Alicia Vikander in this, and also wouldn't be surprised if she removed the black sleeve and left that arm bare.
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
... Okay, but seriously, someone will only wear this if blackmail is involved, right?
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Jennifer Connelly will probably get lured into this because everything else is crack-laced.
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Well, this just screams Michelle Williams... in a language she does not speak, because WHAT.
Louis Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017 : Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2017
I thought those were stirrup pants for a second, but no. They instead look like silk long underwear from olden times.
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Are they designing SOLELY for Real Housewives?
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Well, this shirt... sets a mood. If Alicia Vikander dumps Michael Fassbender, or vice versa, I hope she puts this on and sets the gossips aflame.
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
I am really starting to think this label is just hoping Jennifer Connelly will wear anything and everything.
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
But armpit vents and shin zippers.... who put absinthe in Nicolas' Corn Flakes?
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
I pulled this because it's mostly fairly reasonable and it's white, and thus is about the only thing here that might not make Michelle Williams cry.
Louis Vuitton at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Okay, so here we have a skirt. Michelle will look around and scratch her head and go, "Uh, the skirt, I think? I'll get the shirt from H&M."
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Weirdly, Givenchy WAS more opaque than usual, beginning with this shoulder cape. I could see Kim wearing a shortened version of this, but I'll be honest, I'd put it on almost anyone else.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Blanchett and Blanchett alone can try those pants.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
The same might go for this one, but I think she should make it totally sleeveless. Maybe she's too funky to mess with it, though.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
This is so ghastly. Kimbo would NEVER, because it's colorful -- neither would Rooney Mara, another occasional Givenchy lover. But oh my god please give Cate the Great the strength not to order up this monster. I don't think she would, and yet... it's not totally unlikely.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Why does it feel like everyone is taking a page from Jeremy Scott lately? This is mumbo-jumbo. It's like high-fashion flypaper: A bunch of stuff nobody liked just stuck to it and died there.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
God, Cate might get pressed into service here, too. She DOES like to get experimental, and this brand doesn't have much for its latest ambassador. Oh, KIMBERLY, is he wounded because you're giving more of yourself to Balmain?
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Well. We need to fix the sleeves.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
I was going to say, chop the long sleeves and MAYBE you'd get Michelle Williams to get funky here, but... I forgot this isn't Louis Vuitton still, and she hardly ever veers off that course.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
This is seriously the LAST thing I would have expected from Givenchy after the last few seasons. Whether I love it or not, at least it's movement.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
The top of this feels weirdly like it could be an illustration in a surreal kids' book. About a tree. Like... i The Giving Tree were trippy and set on Halloween.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
The Geode dress is strange, but I'm not mad at it.
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Okay, I do think Cate has already fallen into the pit of pink Givenchy fringe, so we can issue a HARD PASS on this one, right?
Givenchy at Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2017
Okay, but Cate is welcome to inhabit this. Bring it on, Blanchett. The season is nigh.