Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
This lady looks like she's on her way to a photo shoot for a Sexy Clowns of 2013 wall calendar.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
Whereas this is what the librarians at Clown College get to wear while people check out books like The Red Nose Diaries and Crying On The Inside and Holy God Everyone Hates Clowns Why Am I Even Doing This $#$ing Job.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
And then: dinner with the dean. Who will probably fill up your water glass from the tiny novelty flower on his lapel.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
This is hideous. Where is the design here? Are you kidding me?
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
Marc is clearly anticipating that the strike-addled NFL will need to hire a few ladies to be scab refs.But I will throw the flag here on PANTS interference. HA HA HA HA HA oh my god I need sleep.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
The sleeves here are a pretty idea, but the whole outfit plays like they're about to stretch her skirt over the top of a merry-go-round.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
Somebody will wear these. Florence Welch, maybe? They're intense but not nearly as hideous to me as some of this collection is.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
Okay, I love this color, but this version of the dress keeps making me hallucinate lapping tongues.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
This is a gentler version of the concept. But it gets washed out on the model. Actually, they're kind of washing each other out. I'm sure there is some very important statement there that I'm supposed to interpret, but this show so far isn't inspiring me to want to work that hard.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
OH GOOD. MORE CROP TOPS. That other dress is good, though. I wish it were in the red. Then we'd be cooking with gas.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
I am thrilled beyond belief at the idea of merging crop tops with my sweetest friend transparency. My boobs and pelvis will be so delighted next April.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
The up side is, that bag is adorable. The down side is that she can't fit a pair of pants into it.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
But lo! Blazers I don't care for where that skirt hits their hips, but the blazer on its own is friendly enough, even if the lady on the left looks like the world's most severe candy-striper. Maybe these two are the circus medical staff.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
Don't you sometimes wish Marc Jacobs would just stick to designing coats and handbags?
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
I mean, that is perfectly fine, if you ignore whatever is underneath it.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
This coat also pretty cool, if you discount the fact that it's currently being worn as a tunic.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
And that is ALSO attractive, if you interpret it as separates and ignore the winking navel. So many ifs.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
I am not totally sure how we got here from the stuff that I put up top. Where are the clowns? Send in the clowns. They ought to be here.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
This feels like something I've seen before. And indeed, perhaps I did, back in Olden Times when bars of weird signal interference would roll down your TV screen.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
NO MARC. STOP. Leave our abs alone. Also, how much do we think THAT image cost to license? Enough to make a Marc Jacobs bag seem like a pittance?
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
This one is nun too pretty. O SNAP.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
I think this is how the whole collection works: Once you see this come down the runway, you become hypnotized into brandishing your credit card, and also, for kicks, eating three pizzas.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
Scale that back from 101 Dalmatians to about 42, and I'm on board.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
I'm thinking one part bathroom tile floor, and two parts Elvish.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
This reminded Jessica of that page in People where they have two pictures side by side with ten slight changes, and you have to pick out all ten, and if you don't, then Steven Cojocaru leaps out of the page and stabs you in the jugular with a pen. Put on a turtleneck and start looking.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Spring 2013
Holy cats, y'all, I think this is pants. I think... is it FOOTIE PANTS? DID HE INVENT FOOTIE PANTSJAMAS? CAN I BE ANY CAPSIER THAN THIS? BECAUSE I FEEL CAPSIER THAN THIS. SUDDENLY I MISS THOSE FURRY HATS. MY GOD MAN. GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF.