Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
I am basically incapable of thinking of anyone but the following: J.Lo, Kate Hudson, Heidi Klum, Selena Gomez, Lady Gaga, and a small handful of models who should have other options. So this is going to get repetitive if I play the guessing game. Let's just talk instead. I'll start: I love my bathrobe.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
No, really. I stayed at the Chicago Waldorf for my mom's 70th birthday shindig, and ordered the same one they have in the hotel room because it was comfy and soft but not heavy. It's by Boca Terry. It's too big for me, which is strangely exactly how I like it.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
I'm watching the Parks & Rec finale as I type this, and the restaurant where they film JJ's, the waffle place in Pawnee, is right next to my grocery store. I have never gone inside for waffles.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
I have really, really bad taste in beer.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
In his spare time as Hogwarts' Herbology master, Neville Longbottom sometimes creates spells that make lady parts look like they're being caressed by plants.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
"Wait," thought Donatella. "I should make ONE dress that could MAYBE be for normal people, right?"
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Remember Mischa Barton?
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
And remember Undeclared? I think my favorite incarnation of Judd Apatow was TV Producer Judd Apatow.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Y'all, I was totally charmed by Galavant and I'm going to be sad about never seeing it again because ratings were bad and its too expensive.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Joan Smalls looks like an extremely beautiful insect in this.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
There is NO REASON why they need two Candy Crush games and yet I'm totally playing both of them.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Do you think Donatella hires models based on their waxing habits?
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
I can't wait to wear this.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Croissants are delicious. I don't NEED anyone to turn them into donuts.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Where IS Lady Gaga anyway?
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Do I need a juicer? Important caveat: I generally do not like juice.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
The Parenthood finale is on Thursday, and while that show and I have had a few arguments over the years, I am pretty much guaranteed to cry. And cry ugly.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
So this dress is trying to tell me to grab a ball-peen hammer and start tunneling inside the circle?
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
And this is a list of Prince's rejected symbol names.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
And this is the version of the shopping list that he forgot he had already started.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Hey, remember back when clothes were a real thing?
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
This is sheer from the mid-to-upper-thigh down, and it's a breath of fresh air comparatively.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
This looks like someone put her chest in the microwave.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Will this turn up at Cannes, and will it be lined? IMPORTANT QUESTIONS OF OUR TIME.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
When we turned off Parks and Rec, the TV was on Die Hard and this is the first time I've ever seen any of it.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
"What?" my husband just said. "But I thought your love of Reginald VelJohnson came from this!"
"No, that was from Family Matters," I said, refusing to be ashamed.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
"God, normal people are boring, I'm just not even going to try," sniffed Donatella.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
I am EXTREMELY intrigued as to what is happening with her right boob, so that I can only see one nipple. Did one of her chicken cutlets fall out, and the other is on its way? Or... these are confusing times.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Someday, I will probably drink to forget this.
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
I just heard that in Die Hard, a security guard is listening to the radio, and it's a football game in which ND is beating USC. Suddenly this is my favorite movie of all time. I HOPE WE WIN. ... Ugh, it's only 7-0 Notre Dame. We are totally going to roll over and die. EVEN IN FICTION I CAN'T BE OPTIMISTIC. (Also, this came out in July 1988, and we didn't play USC in the 1987 season, so let's just assume we DID win by AT LEAST 55 points YOU SUCKERS.)
Versace at Couture Week S/S 2015
Donatella Versace leaves no crevice unexplored.