Duhamel and Fergie
JOSH: CHECK OUT THIS SWEET CHILD OF MINE, AMERICA.
FERGIE: Mmm-HMM.
JOSH: I am going to take her to PARADISE CITY!
FERGIE: WORD.
JOSH: She is my ROCKET QUEEN.
FERGIE: Firing my afterburners all up in my SLEEVES, YO.
JOSH: It's so hard to hold a candle in the cold NOVEMBER RAIN!!!!
FERGIE: Uh... hmm... except when it's JUNE, BITCHES, and the candle is all up in my LADY LUMPS.
JOSH: Nice save.
Duhamel and Fergie
JOSH: She's MY MICHELLE.
FERGIE: Wait, what?
JOSH: IT'S SO EASY!
FERGIE: Well, we're married...
JOSH: I USED TO LOVE HER BUT I HAD TO KILL HER!
FERGIE: I don't overly love this game.
JOSH: Come on, dude. Guns 'N' Roses songs! Play along!
FERGIE: Can't you do some Motley Crue?
JOSH: No. Duh. I'm clearly Slash.
FERGIE: Why Slash?
JOSH: Because he'll show up anywhere? Especially on-stage? Even if the event has nothing to do with him?
Duhamel and Fergie
FERGIE: Wait. Are you saying you're not in this movie?
JOSH: Are you kidding?
FERGIE: NO. What the hell have you been doing all this time?
JOSH: Transformers 3!
FERGIE: That came out last summer.
JOSH: And New Year's Eve!
FERGIE: That took, what, like an hour?
JOSH: And mild voice-over work somewhere!
FERGIE: Uh-huh.
JOSH: And I went to a Kings game looking kind of like a hobo with not very good seats and nobody showed me on camera! And so I decided to spend the rest of my time getting ready for this sight gag at the premiere! LOOK AT MEEEEEE!
FERGIE: Oh, Lord.
Duhamel and Fergie
JOSH: Now kiss me like a groupie.
FERGIE: I can't believe I'm wearing a tight satin long-sleeved dress in the middle of summer for a movie you're not even IN. And with a lit cigarette. You really need to go back to TV. It was so much better.
JOSH: Aw, come on, baby, DON'T YOU CRYYYYYYY TONIIIIGHT, can't you just play along for another like ten minutes until we go inside?
FERGIE: Fine, but you had better grab the SHIT out of my ass and make it clear that it's like cupping pure steel.
Duhamel and Fergie
JOSH: DONE. See? All you need is just a little PATIENCE.
FERGIE: Yeah, yeah.
JOSH: LIVE AND LET DIE, baby.
FERGIE: Cover songs shouldn't count.
JOSH (muttering): PROSTITUTE.
FERGIE: REAL CUTE, jackhole. Also, that's from "Chinese Democracy." Slash wasn't even in the band.
JOSH: Ouch. OUT TA GET ME. YOU'RE CRAZY. DON'T DAMN ME. BAD OBSESSION.
FERGIE: Should I turn this car around?
JOSH: ... SO FINE?
FERGIE: That's better, anyway. I accept your apology. Now SQUEEZE.