Cher
This wig is a) like if Tina Turner and ALL of Duran Duran had an orgy on Cher's head and then gave birth to its hairball love child; b) something Billy Ray Cyrus coughed up in 1992; c) sentient; d) all of the above.
Cher
And then she loped out awkwardly in this outfit, like one of the Misfits from Jem and the Holograms...
Cher
... and you realize SHE HAS RUBBERIZED BIEBER JUNK. Guys, it is NOT OKAY if we live in a world where MOTHERF'ING CHER is taking fashion cues from MOTHERF'ING JUSTWERP BIEBER.
Cher
NO CHER. NO. TURN BACK TIME. FIND A WAY. TAKE BACK THOSE PANTS THAT HURT ME AND I WILL STAY.
Christina Aguilera
Meanwhile, Christina opened the show. And she looks nice and curvy in this, and all, but let's face it: That's not a skirt, that's a bodyshaper.
Christina Aguilera
AND she had on a filmy chain-mail crop top over a massive hot-pink bra that looked like it was limping southward.
Christina Aguilera
It doesn't look much better in the light. This bodes WONDERFULLY poorly for when she returns to the show this fall.