JoJo Siwa in Versace

I don't actually know if Versace is responsible for anything other than the bra and underwear, but I suspect they might wish to wash their hands of all of it, in retrospect. It's just so... BeDazzled.

And I do not think this Stargate spinoff is going to do very well.

Doechii in Miu Miu

The new Versace head used to work at Miu Miu, and the back-to-back branded underwear makes me think the companies are more similar than we think. But the only thing I'd keep here are the shoes, and maybe the coat, in the right context. That bra feels like old Victoria's Secret.

Kelsea Ballerini in Alexandre Vauthier

This looks very good on her. Would it look BETTER with a necklace?

Lady Gaga in Stella McCartney

If you look REALLY closely, her boobs look like they're wearing sunglasses and HUGE eyelashes.

Lady Gaga in McQueen

Every Valentine's Day, Miss Havisham gets a little wild.

Gracie Abrams in Khaite

This is... solemn. A solemn column.

Becky G in The New Arrivals

This looks like she walked through a ticker-tape parade.

Ariana Madix

This would be great for hosting Love Island, because she could glue her lines to the inside and not have to memorize anything,

Ashanti in Balmain

This reminds me of when there's a hole in the side of my sweet potato bag and they slowly squeeze through it and fall out all over my floor.

GloRilla

Most of this is actually a piece of translucent fabric, not skin, but I still cannot imagine wanting to lace myself like a sneaker.

I DO enjoy this purse.

GloRilla in Balenciaga 2007 (pants)

I prefer Sexy C3PO to the shoelaces.

Isabel LaRosa

My advice: If you don't believe it, don't do it.

Benson Boone

Oh, don't YOU start, Benson.

Bad Bunny

Bad Bunny just wanted to pick up his Prom date.

Offset in Chrome Hearts

Someone gets this man a shoe-shine.

LL Cool J

This feels like his version of surgical scrubs, which means we need him on Grey's Anatomy or The Pitt IMMEDIATELY.

Mariah

Everything is in order and on-brand here.

Green Day

Ditto. They are nothing if not consistent.

Nikki Glaser in Stella McCartney

This would work as a Heidi Klum costume on Halloween.

JaeXlynne

I rather prefer this! It's very Kristen Stewart, when she's off the Chanel clock.

Dasha

She is a singer, and somehow NOT related to Ali Larter.

Tori Spelling

She looks like JoJo Siwa styled her.

Tori Kelly

I will never not gush about her curl formation. Her PJs are nice, too.

AJ McLean

I'm sure he paid handsomely for jeans that look like he's worn them for three months on his knees weeding, but it seems awfully casual for this.

Brandi Cyrus

She's a DJ, I guess? Which explains why she's here. Her head seems a little underdressed, but the frock is nice on her.

Finneas and Billie

"Our mom made us come."

Billy Idol

I assume he is giving a rebel yell here, that we just can't hear.

Donnie Wahlberg, Jenny McCarthy (in Genny)

The couple that BriteSmiles together, stays together.

Victoria Monet in Maticevski

Her necklace is so lovely; it's nice that she picked something low-key to let it shine.

Sexxy Red

Lil' Kim would approve.

Henry Winkler and Zoe Winkler Reinis

Zoe is an activist and podcast host, so she's probably therefor that. I can only imagine how profoundly entertained Henry is by all the weird outfits parading past him. The Fonz truly has seen it all.

The iHeartRadio Awards Were Predictably Skin-Forward and Bonkers

I'd be worried if they WEREN'T.