Miley Cyrus

Miley DOES love to be on-the-nose, so it tracks that she'd show up looking like a box of Red Hots to an event with the word "heart" in the title -- and, that she'd even turn her abdomen into one.

Miley

She did look really sleek and good in this, though.

Harry Styles in Gucci

Congrats to Harry for starring in Austin Powers 4: Thunderballs.

Heidi Klum in Naeem Khan

I believe she introduced someone, and this is perfect for going on-stage at some starry music festival where you aren't actually performing. It's so swingy and sparkly.

Kesha

Her new song, "Praying," is so powerful and good. She has been through the wringer this past year or two, and I think she's still figuring out who she is now and what that means style-wise, so I'm going to cut her a break on this. (But I DO wish she'd cut her hair.)

Jared Leto et al

Thirty Seconds to Meh. (That's Jared's brother in the shower shoes, which are really the focus of my ire here.)

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN KESHA ALREADY WORE THIS? I DON'T DO SLOPPY SECONDS. SOMEONE'S HEAD WILL ROLL FOR THIS."

Lights

I'm not totally sure what or who Lights is, but apparently -- despite appearances to the contrary -- it is NOT Ashlee Simpson with a fuchsia dye job.

Lili Reinhart in Yanina Couture

Our captions all got eaten this morning, and I can't remember what I said about this, other than it was DEFINITELY a figure-skating joke. Oh, something about a long program set to whimsical selections from Peter Pan.

Casey Cott

Or, as I refer to him on Riverdale, Forgotten Kevin. How was he not sweltering?

Camila Mendes in Milly & Club Monaco

So, her shirt seems pretty clearly cropped, right? Why even bother with the tuck?

Ashleigh Murray

I want those shoes. I really, really do. The rest of this seems perfectly on point for a music fest.

Niall Horan

I think he bought this at a new store in Silver Lake called So You Just Moved To America And Want To Look Like A Hipster.

Taylor Lautner

I think Taylor brought him there.

Julia Michaels

Those are the pants you wear to avoid damaging your actual pants, and you're supposed to change OUT of them.

Keke Palmer

This is better for her, but... she gets out of that with a scalpel, right?

Khalid

This is hella nerdy and I'm here for it.

Bebe Rexha

Dear Bebe: No one is fooled. We know you are not an alien from Planet Rabanne.

Bebe Rexha

We DO, however, buy you as the figurehead on a pirate ship called The Love Marauder.  

Kelsea Ballerini in Michael Kors

This is so sleek and good on her. Heidi is probably writing Michael a cross note right now.

Little Mix (Jade Thirlwall, Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Jesy Nelson, and Perrie Edwards)

This isn't so much "little mix" as "a whole lot of mix." This is Everything Mix.

Noah Cyrus

Styled by Miley, I assume.

Lorde

Simple and functional and effective and I'll take it.

Halsey

Her pants have a butt cape. Also, Her Pants Have A Butt Cape is a good title for her Lifetime movie.

Jack Antonoff

Which is it: Shall he star in The Fred Armisen Story, or will Fred star in The Jack Antonoff Story?

Demi Lovato

I have a place in my heart for Demi. So, yeah, this is ripped from a J.Lo playbook, but it fits and it works and she's selling it. And she looks happy. 

I WOULD scrap the catsuit.

The Lowes

And then Rob Lowe and his sons showed up because I guess they're ghost-hunters now on TV? No, seriously. It's a turn I did NOT expect.

Miley's Groin Hearts iHeartMusic

But Heidi Klum looks good, and Harry Styles out-Letos Jared Leto.