J.Lo in Valentino

This top is VERY akin to Janelle Monae's. The full-body sparkle-off of my dreams was not to be, sadly. But I freaking love this giant purple skirt on her.

America Ferrera in Self Portrait

I might have been on board wtihout the neck bow. It's such a twee bridge too far and also on a windy night what if the wrong gust hits and it gets caught in a door?

Joey King in Oscar de la Renta

What a beautiful dress that's coming undone.

Rhea Seehorn in Lela Rose

Rhea Seehorn has such good taste. This is probably the closest to NOT being my jam of anything she's worn, and I'm still 50-50 on it.

Alfre Woodard

She was supposedly incredible in Clemency, a movie that from what I can tell did not mount much of an Oscars campaign.

Julie Hagerty

This event is traditionally held at an airplane hangar, so I assume people went up to her ALL NIGHT and asked whether she parked in the red zone or the white zone, and then when she answered, replied, "Surely you can't be serious," before blinking expectantly.

St. Vincent in The Vampire's Wife

Wait, has that vampire's wife decided on a second silhouette?!?!? Or, I guess, this is really only a half measure different. So that's 1.5 silhouettes total.

Mary Kay Place

That suit is great, and I wouldn't have gone tomato-red with the camisole.

Aubrey Plaza in McQueen

HOWEVER this is awesome. This might be my favorite. It's like a sexy Coldstream Guard.

Carrie Brownstein

"I wish Mary Kay Place had loaned me her camisole."

Emily Ratajkowski in Versace

I'd be into this if it were longer, and she had on shoes that aren't made of dark dental floss.

Renee Zellweger in Dior

Renee! So JAUNTY.

Merritt Wever

I think she has like four of these in her closet. (Which, amen, wear what you like. I am guilty of the buy-and-stash because things I like get discontinued.)

Octavia Spencer

I think she ALSO has like four or five of this outfit.

Elisabeth Moss in Co

"I stole this from Don Draper. Tell no one."

Billie Lourd in Dior

She is ever so cute.

Da'Vine Joy Randolph

Her head looks great, but I want to divorce her from satin.

Taylor Russell in Chanel

What on EARTH did her ankles do to offend her?

Lorene Scafaria

Lorene was one of the most interesting awards-circuit dressers, right up until the Hustlers snubs came in. I'm sad that she went boring for this.

Hunter Schafer in Loewe

Daenarys LIVES.

Marisa Tomei

I was right on board with this until I noticed that the jacket buttons BELOW the waist of her pants. That's EXTREMELY odd to me.

Kelvin Harrison Jr.

We've got to work on his shoe game.

Beanie Feldstein in Markarian

I am not hot for the cut of this dress, but it does fit her beautifully -- it was custom -- and the color is fantastic on her (great catch finding those earrings, too).

Barry Jenkins and Lulu Wang (in Prabal Gurung)

It's America's hottest director couple!

Hong Chau

Oh, Miss Havisham, for the last time, NO, you can't fly out the window. Stop rending your aging garments. 

Olivia Wilde in Fendi

Such lengths to go to cover up a bikini top.

The Rest of the Independent Spirit Awards: J.Lo Ended Her Awards Season in Sparkles

It's only right.