Jennifer Lopez
It's amazing that J.Lo can still somehow top herself, given that she's worn about 40,000 variations on this basic theme. I mean, I think she basically brought Zuhair Murad into the cultural conversation by using the brand for her tour clothes years ago, and NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE. Can we blame any of The Sheers on her? (In truth, the answer is no, and I actually also love J.Lo and find her hilarious and charming whenever she's interviewed and would be bereft if she started wearing only large overcoats. So. Love is complicated.)
Jennifer Lopez
"Hola lovers. I am so tired. I sang and sang for Hillary Clinton, and she LOST. I have not ever experienced losing anything before, because even when I did not win awards, it was because I had told the universe that unfabulous people needed me to be there for them by donating them some hardware. Because all I want is for those sad people to have a small taste of what glory is. But lovers, I did not tell the universe that Donald Rump could win. THE UNIVERSE DID NOT CHECK WITH ME. I spent FOUR HOURS getting my best Cher hair on for a duet of 'I Got You Babe' with Billary, for NOTHING. Lovers, how can I believe in God if God does not believe in coming to me in a dream and giving me the down-Lopez on his plans? Faith is a two-way street, and The Lopez does not do one-lane roads."
J.Lo and Marc Anthony
"So I went out and sang with MRC instead of HRC and it was not as satisfying because, shhh, her pantsuits are better. But I am an actress so I put on my best Santa Baby Christmas Eve Love Parade costume and seduced him with my soul and my voice and maybe some of my thighs just because, whatever, I was bored."
J.Lo and Marc Anthony
"Maybe we should get married again. ... HAHAHAHA. I tease. I am waiting for Argofleck to get his act togeth... HAHAHA, no, lovers, I cannot lie. I just need company until Prince Harold answers my letters. Give me six days and Meghan Unremarkle will be history."