Daniel Craig

Hello, Mr. Bond. I'm pleased to see you going bold. It may be No Time To Die, but it is definitely Past Time To Dye. HA HA HA HA HA HA oh god no that's the worst. (Is it wrong that my second thought was, "WHERE IS RACHEL WEISZ???" The answer is that she's filming in New York right now, but still. I just like to see Rachel Weisz.)

Lashana Lynch

This is Vivienne Westwood, and she looks wonderful in the bright yellow. The off-balance peaks are stressing out my desire for order, even though I know the hemline reflects that unevenness. I look up at her neckline and I see the Nike swoosh.

No Time To Die; High Time For Dry. Oh yes, I'm still doing this. I'm gonna stop though.

Ana de Armas in custom Louis Vuitton

This is very dramatic and I Keep A Dagger In A Thigh Holster, which is appropriate for any Bond film. I don't know if it feels as special as the word "custom" would imply, but sometimes just "cut to fit" is all you need and this definitely does. Also, the bob and the bangs change her face shape so much for me.

For a second I thought she had a two-piece train that she'd thrown up in the air, but no, it's just the backdrop.

Lea Seydoux in Louis Vuitton

This is ALSO custom LV, and feels like it got the lion's share of their creative attention. I love it.

Naomie Harris in Michael Kors

This is not my favorite Kors offering, but it's pretty enough. It looks like it was designed as a Kate Hudson-style two-piece and then someone called and was like, "No, connect them, do something!"

It looks even MORE like that from the side.

Finneas O'Connell and Billie Eilish

Billie is in Gucci, which you probably figured out if you looked at the logos on her clodhoppers. I think Dorothy Zbornak once wore this to a funeral.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Azzaro

This is how a jumpsuit should be done. It's SO GOOD. It's so Bond. It's slick and shimmery and sexy as hell and COOL and crisp and I have never had this many feelings about a jumpsuit-based outfit.

Clara Amfo in Bottega Veneta

I love the color, but this is such a limp design; it just doesn't work.

Jessica Gadirova and Jennifer Gadirova

The twin gymnasts! I love them, and they look wonderful.

Emma Raducanu in Dior

This is dreamy, but... I keep thinking it looks like her neck was lassoed?

Michelle Yeoh in Elie Saab

This is mostly beautiful, but it feels a little... shaggy? ... up around her shoulders. Like the netting is too baggy or something, and there's a strap there I can't tell if she really needed.

Judi Dench

Everything here is as it should be.

Tallia Storm

That dress is a little overdone for me, but the pink coat is CUTE.

Britt Eklund

Hooray, a classic Bond woman! She looks, as a human, super. I wish she had shopped somewhere a bit fancier.

Cary Fukunaga

He is a very handsome and those are some slick shoes. Well played, sir.

Rami Malek in Prada

This is fine. He usually goes for something more creative, but there's power in the classics, too.

Jason Momoa and family

Oooh, someday his kids are going to inherit a LOT of good suits from their dad -- I mean, his son is already looking like a Mini Me. This is cute, and I'm also surprised to see HIM go so traditional; perhaps it was the mandate. Maybe it was No Time To Try. ... Yes I know I promised I would stop, but I'm a liar I guess.

Lucy Boynton

She did not do the step-and-repeat, as far as I can tell (or at least not that we had available). She just walked past and inside. Lucy! We can't see what you're wearing! This is No Time To Drive-By!

Jeffrey Wright

I hope he's not hot in that gorgeous velvet jacket. A premiere is No Time To Fry.

Christian Horner and Geri Halliwell Horner

I wish she'd shown up in her iconic Union Jack dress -- for James! -- but I suppose she felt like this was No Time To Spi(ce).

Ben Whishaw

I cherish his lapels. They are bold. And this is, after all, No Time To Shy.

Kimberley Garner

Friend, it is DEFINITELY No Time To Thigh.

The Bond Premiere Brought TWO Bright Yellow Frocks and a Pink Jacket

The colors of the moment, truly.