Janelle Monae in Gareth Pugh
I can't. I dislike this so intensely. WHY IS THIS SOMETHING THAT EXISTS.
I mean. You could just put her shoulder pads back there and everything would be fine.
I cannot. Nay, will not. NEIGH, even. I keep wanting to look at her fantastic face, and '80s shoulders, but all I can see is her pelvis and the cutout that's shaped like an open toilet bowl.
Ashley Graham in Christian Siriano
Fortunately for Janelle, these sleeves are also a strange shitshow, so there's plenty else to discuss.
Ariana Grande in Siriano
Remember when she shared a photo not long ago of her hair just barely past her shoulders? Everyone crowed, "THE PONYTAIL IS NO MORE." That was hella premature. The ponytail is going nowhere, and this outfit suggests that neither is her same basic aesthetic. But the "Thank U, Next" video WAS a treasure, and I keep remembering how she Twitter-decimated Piers Morgan... I do not like donut-licking bratty Ariana, but the one who cuts like a knife is kind of a badass.
Ellie Goulding
Is she hoping the shoes will blind us to the rest? It didn't work.
Dua Lipa
I feel like she had to wrest that top from Olivia Munn. The sparkly accessories are divine with this, but the outfit itself is a beige mess.
Kacey Musgraves in Brandon Maxwell
I do kind of like this blazer, though. Imagine the skirt a touch longer and the shoes being gold
Lauren Jauregui
I am over mismatched lengths, and I don't even want to know how the back of this makes up the difference. It's really better not to look like you don't KNOW how to button a shirt, which is the illusion this gives.
St. Vincent
She looks like she isn't quite sure what to do with all this tweed.
Maggie Rogers
It would be inaccurate to say that I like this, but I DO enjoy it, at least.
Fletcher
Dear Fletcher: The jacket is already 3/4 of the way on you. Just FINISH THE JOB.
Regina Spektor
I love this coat. I don't have ANY idea whether that is the outfit, or she had on something else underneath. She could be wearing a sarong made of shoelaces for all I know, but I don't care. That is a super coat.
Alicia Keys
Is it odd that what bothers me here is that the shoes don't match? If you are going 90 percent monochromatic, it strikes me odd to pick shoes that are ALSO red but just not the SAME red. Alicia Keys surely has people who can solve this problem.
Grace Vanderwaal
I don't have a source on this, but I would GUESS Gucci, based on the little bow at her waist. As usual, it is VERY Extra. I'm not sure it needs the giant purple X on her torso, but given that she's 14, her parents probably LOVE it as a way of saying, "HANDS OFF, INDUSTRY CREEPS."
Cyndi Lauper
The other day I joked that Cyndi appears to be in her Dolly Parton phase, and reader, she doubled down.