January Jones

January Jones loves a big gown. And I've seen her sell stuff that's TRULY HIDEOUS with her best grooming, so why isn't she giving this outfit its due? It's a prime example of how the dress itself isn't enough. If you serve it, it will serve you. She didn't bother with accessories. She might need to hoik it. And her HAIR. Let's examine.

January Jones

I don't know if this photo is doing justice to how CRISPY her hair was. It was hypnotic. It looked like I could've reached out and broken off her bangs. I mean, imagine them being JUST as hard as if you tried to pull them out of your computer monitor. Just... not right. This dress didn't need bedbangs.

January Jones

Not great from this angle, either. Rough-and-tumble milkmaid was not the right pick, I fear.

January Jones

I think what kills me is that overall it feels like she's just in it grudgingly, or something. Like while she's posing, she's just bored and letting her mind wander, all, "Did I pay my Amex bill? Oh, and I need to borrow Jon Hamm's Angie's List user name, gotta remember that."

January Jones

"And like, IS time a flat circle? What if the EARTH is a flat circle? Am I done yet?"

January Jones

She looks happier and more present in this shirt WHICH IS NOT EVEN REALLY A SHIRT than in that gorgeous stunner of a dress. How is that POSSIBLE? It's giving me the vapors.

Emmys Wah-Waaah Played: January Jones in Prabal Gurung

I love this dress. It's almost as breathtaking to me (if not equally) as the Prabal that Diane Kruger wore. And if Diane Kruger had been in this one, I'd have toasted it with everything in my bar and the neighbors' besides, because I think she'd have done it every service she has. Conversely, January looks like she's trying her damndest to make the gown do all the work while she, like, thinks about salad or something. If I were that gown, I would throw a tantrum at her. [Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]