1910
Wow. I didn't know Vogue went through a FASHIONS FOR THE SOUTH phase. I hope it also went through a "how to eavesdrop through a thick stone wall" phase, because this lady needs some advice.
1911
This looks like someone accidentally read the wrong measurements when they drew this. It's a TINY TINY TINY CAR on a paper bag.
1912
"What's another way of saying 'Shit To Wear On Your Trip'? OH I KNOW."
1913
The little known horror short Their Bottoms Were Cheese Graters really made Mary Pickford's career.
1913
Maizie was so proud of herself for inventing a self-lifting skirt. Now if only she could speed up the process.
1914
"And so THEN she attached a motor to it, and well, that's the last anyone heard of her."
1914
Don't worry, the machine didn't kill Maizie. She faked her death and became an umbrella impresario in Paris.
1915
The only problem with the new voluminous capes was physically getting the lipstick to your mouth.
1915
"Finally," she said, surveying her floral mound. "FINALLY, Tom Nook will be pleased, and then he'll be mine." (Yes, this is an Animal Crossing joke, I have finally arrived where you all were in March 2020.)
1916
She began to wonder if the friends who GAVE her the coat, did it to keep her from going through the doors to their houses.
1917
I do not think her cat signed up for that job.
1917
With the 1916 fashions, they could fit TWO tables on the balcony, perhaps even three. But in 1917? Forget it.
1918
"No, I absolutely am NOT hoping to run into a ghost to whom I'm highly sexually attracted, why do you ask?"
1918
"Pity, darling. That ghost will change your whole life."
1919
"The wind blows my dress into the most INTIMATE places."
1919
And now we're in the demonic iris phase of Vogue's covers. Big, blank, pupil-free eyes.
1920
"Janine, aren't you wondering who Batman is? Janine. JANINE. I'm TRYING to tell you something. TURN. AROUND. TURN AROUND LOOK IT'S ME BATMAN."
1921
"Trust me, you'll be SO glad that you've started belting your ass."
1921
"TOM! TOM NOOK! LOOK AT ALL I'VE BUILT FOR YOU. WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME."
1922
Bette's new arm extensions made it SO much harder for the baby to pee all over her when they played Lion King.
1923
"HOLY SHIT, PAGAN RITUALS WORK!!!!!"
1923
I can't even write something funny about this. The proportions are just... so weird.
1924
I like this a lot and wish they'd shoot this today, for real.
1925
Ditto this one, actually. Call Rihanna.
1925
"Forget belting asses. Belting SHOULDERS is the new wave." (This is perhaps the most awesomely hilarious cover ever and I want it to be a Tarot card. It can be THE FOOL.)
1926
"Great. We've seen a cactus. Can we PLEASE go back to the pool bar now?"
1926
"What do you MEAN they don't have competitive zebra rodeos?!?"
1927
Add this to the list of things I want them to make into puzzles.
1927
Aspects of this would make amazing wallpaper.
1928
"Look, Kayla! A thneed!"
1928
"Darling, you know I can't look at thneeds ever since The Lorax loved me and left me."
1929
This is, I hope, the cover of a book called Checkmate... FOR MURDER.
1930
I genuinely cannot figure out what this is trying to convey to me about fashion.
1930
Spring fashions this year were... what, bird droppings?
1931
"Dirt truffles are SO invigorating."
1932
Ten minutes later, the hotel had a lawsuit about safety railings on its head.
1932
"Yes, please," she told the dentist. "ABSOLUTELY give me the laughing gas."
1933
This looks like she's driving uncomfortably close to a flower vendor and is pressing her nose against the glass.
1934
"Next time, it's in my contract that I get a towel."
1934
Yeah, if I had a sapphire nipple, I'd wear it too.
1935
I assume that's "entertaining" and then "Southern fashions," but I prefer to read it as "entertaining fashions and then Southern fashions, which are dull as dishwater."
1935
"Oh, isn't he just... the most... repulsive thing."
1936
"I AM GOING TO KILL THAT SPIDER IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO. GET OFF THE CEILING YOU DEMON."
1936
"Maybe I'll move to Narnia full-time," she thought. "I'm sick of wintering in Florida."
1937
"Shit, the masthead didn't render. Does anyone have a Sharpie?"
1937
I love the petulance here. It leaps off the page.
1938
This whole thing feels like Andra Day might wear it now.
1938
"You know.... this hat once held my DoorDash order."
1939
No one had told Connie that skiing involved so much STUFF.
1939
"How do I look? It's Sunday, so I'm meeting George in the park."
1940
"Guys, GUYS, I've been holding this for too long, I think I'm starting to sweat. I can smell it. Guys? Guys I'm falling over."
1940
Being sewn together had seemed like such a delicious little dare, until all Margaret could see was her own shoes.
1941
No one will ever have less fun on a mountain, ever, than the person who skies in this outfit.
1941
We USED to wear a lot of hats. Where did the fun go?
1942
Can you imagine any magazine now bragging that it will take you more than three hours to read it? I mean, I would have no problem with that, but I feel like so many magazines seem to have a 45-minute time limit.
1942
"I positively LOVE my new wallpapering gloves, Ed. Thank you."
1943
This woman's body language says, "I do not need to be handed a book THAT BIG and told it will help me BE a woman."
1943
It would be so fun to be in a period piece, just once. I can't imagine having to put any of this on right now to do anything, when I can barely get in heels anymore, but it does look diverting.
1944
This woman and I seem to feel identically about the concept of planning our weight.
1944
This spring, we're drawing on all our hats! It's going to be GREAT.
1945
Holy hellfire, Vogue, the bossy books JUST GET BIGGER. FILL THIS PLANNER, LADIES! YOU AREN'T WHOLE UNTIL YOU DO!!!!!!
1945
"It seemed like a delicious idea to stash my flash under my hat, but my stars, it hurts like a bludgeon to the noodle."