Jennifer Aniston

If we just took the slice of it that's on her boobs, we'd be in business. The rest of the way down, that sucker is creased over the corsetry and then tucked in at the knee like she hemmed it with the sticky marmalade crust that she got on it this morning when her bed was wearing these, and she was eating breakfast in it.

Jennifer Aniston

There was a bathing suit photo of her recently in which she looked exactly like Jennifer Aniston always looks, so she's just... picking unflattering clothes, I guess? I mean ,she looks totally regular, but you know she does enough Hot Yoga that her body is better than this dress wants us to believe. Unless she's Secret Pregnant, which will be the theory until such time as she a) is pregnant, or b) wears better outfits. If I were her, I'd spend the next nine months eating donuts and then go to a hospital and make the media wait outside and then say, "JUST KIDDING. I had a food baby. I named it Dunkin and now I'm going to ask Tracy Anderson to take it away from me."

Jennifer Aniston

It does not look great on the back, either. This dress does not fit. And I think her bronzer is set to Citrus Level 4 and should be dialed down, AND I prefer her when she is less blonde. I am not even going to talk about the shoes because you already know what I'm going to say.

Jennifer Aniston

And then Jennifer Aniston: Regular Flavor popped up at a photocall, and for real, I almost wish she'd just kept this on for the whole damn day.

Jennifer Fugiston

I know pregnancy speculation is unpopular -- with good reason -- and I don't want to keep barking up that tree because it's going to make us all hoarse. But Aniston keeps wearing stuff that seems very TARGETED. I mean, we could call this "The One Where She's Still Got To Be Messing With Us, Right?" Because not only does her uterus look a bit like it's making a face at us, but it's tight enough right above that to see her navel. That's a lot of abdominal action. [Photos: Getty, WENN]