Queen Mum
The special included all kinds of fun tidbits, like that Elizabeth here was "the life of the party" and that Bertie proposed to her a gajillion times before she accepted, because she had misgivings about never being able to live and act as she wished once she became royal -- interesting, given how much of a struggle that has been in some of her progeny's marriages. The bonnet-veil is so of-the-time -- she was married in 1923 -- and yet I am not at all surprised none of her offspring ever tried to echo it, because it looks so itchy. She ALSO started the tradition of royal brides putting their bouquets on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, which is something she's believed to have done semi-spontaneously in honor of her brothers, AND much like on Downton Abbey her childhood home became a convalescent home for WWI soldiers and she was a beloved nurse there. I love her. Do you notice I'm avoiding talking about the dress? Yes.
Queen Mum
Also, Westminster Abbey is no stranger to long trains. Diana's was an EXTRA big deal, yes, but it's not like those who came before her were modest and restrained.
QEII
And this is QEII's wedding gown (well, clearly, as it is certainly not her stable-mucking gown, nor her pheasant-hunting gown). One commentator noted that its very regalness sets it apart from her sister Margaret's (next up) in a way that bespeaks their destinies -- specifically, this one is a bit more all-business and less floaty and romantic, the theory being that it befit the image of a future monarch.
QEII
This is a better view of the lace. She looks lovely. Apparently, as she was married in 1947, she was required to use ration coupons to buy the material for the dress, which is certainly still elaborate but not nearly as ornate as it might've been had the country not been in recovery. The feeling I got from the show was, it was the perfect gown for that social context -- it didn't feel ostentatious, yet it was still celebratory and stately and presented her in a very queenly way. (Just typing all that out, I am getting a new respect for the pressure Kate Middleton must've been under.) She also apparently got 2500 wedding presents from around the world. That is a lot of thank-you notes.
QEII
Train shot! 'Tis a train of plenty.
Princess Margaret
It took seeing this to click for me that she is, for me, a Greer Garson/Olivia de Havilland hybrid.
Princess Margaret
A reporter on the special said Margaret's gown captivated everyone so much that stores were rushing to put replicas in the window that same DAY. Presumably many of them christened with the blood of some tired seamstress's chafed fingers. This is the dress everyone says Kate Middleton's evokes, and they're totally right-- it really IS Margaret with a dash of Grace Kelly.
Kate Middleton/Catherine Duchess of Cambridge
We interrupt the regularly scheduled chronology to give you a side-by-side comparison.
Princess Anne
This 1973 gown has a weird Bride of Christ feel to it, as if she is wedding herself to the Bible in a very literal way.
Princess Anne
And then HELLO SLEEVES. Those things are medieval. I think she's about to go hunting for some eye of newt to stick in a love potion that she will then sneak into her laird's flagon of mead.
Princess Anne's wedding
These two ladies were guests at that party. The fur turban is a hilarious halo of winter wonder (it WAS a November wedding), but the top hat is the one that is my favorite. It's like a fez with a scarf growing out of it. They played audio of one of the commentators from that day, and the person scoffed something like, "Well, that's certainly a daring attempt at a hat, though I'm not sure I think it's terribly SUCCESSFUL." OH BUT IT IS.
The Queen and Prince Edward
LOOK AT EDWARD. LITTLE MUFFIN. I just want to pinch his cheeks and then fluff his ascot. And, check out the Queen Mum up there in HER fur turban, right behind QEII, whose sort of bell-like blue thing -- actually it's almost Egyptian in shape -- is a totally different silhouette than anything we've seen her head in for years. Now I want to do a slideshow called QEII: Hats On To Her. Because I am a hack.
Princess Diana
If I hadn't just written her name atop this slide, I'd give you half a guess as to whose dress THAT is. They actually had the dude re-sketch it, and I'm pretty sure he was as enamored with it now as he was then, if not more so. Nobody told him that history hasn't cast as fond an eye on it... then again, maybe no one SHOULD tell him. He did what he was asked. And it WAS unforgettable.
Chuck and Di
When I was a kid, this was THE EPITOME of awesome. We had all this royal wedding paraphernalia, like a tin breakfast tray and a wastebasket, and whatnot, and some commemorative brochures and the like, so I grew up gazing at books of their formal engagement photos, their formal wedding portraits, etc. The ring was everything I wanted, I thought the dress was perfection, and I thought every bride should have a bouquet that enormous (apparently the florist's wife was appalled until she saw it WITH the dress, and then she was like, "OH, I get it now"). So as much as this would look BATSHIT WONKUS if someone wore it today, for the time it was amazing. It was the ultimate princess dress.
Diana's dress
I love this photo from Getty of the dress in its museum exhibit, where you can see the shot of Diana in it as well. I mean... listen, love it or hate it, or conditionally love/hate it, that dress will NEVER be forgotten. Not just because of what happened to her, but because in general it's quite an indelible image. It is also hard to be funny about this. Spoiler: IT ENDS SO SADLY.
Princess Diana
However, it must be said, that dress IS HUGE. She's the linebacker of brides. Just TRY to get a run game going when that thing is across the line of scrimmage from you.
Chuck and Di
And, the famous kiss, which started THAT whole tradition. I enjoy that the Queen wasn't even watching, as if she was squinting out at her subjects, wondering, "What are THEY banging on about?" The fascinating thing about this is, watching the footage from their wedding NOW, knowing what we know about how young and nervous and emotionally confused she was (and about Charles and Camilla, etc), you can kind of see it in her eyes. She reminded me of Princess Prisoner, a bit, just in the sense that she seemed happy at times, but at others, a little gun-shy and terrified of what was happening. Again with my awe that Kate Middleton has been so composed. Then again, she was older, and had a LOT better idea of what she was in for, which was a smart move on their part. Sigh. Poor Diana. And Charles, actually, in a lot of ways. And ALL of them. SNIFFLE. I need me some Fergie.
Sarah Ferguson
THERE we go. Fergie's wedding happened in 1986, when I was living over there, so I watched the whole thing live and it was amazing and of course I loved it, and her, because she was new and seemed really fun and I loved her red hair and all the bows she wore in it and I basically wanted to grow up to be her. She also had an unusual ring: a ruby surrounded by diamonds, though apparently Andrew bought her an emerald and she suggested she'd prefer a ruby. I read that the royal family has a superstition about rubies, and the only other one in memory in an engagement ring was Princess Margaret's, and... well. Apparently it is still unlucky.
ANYWAY. THE CLOTHES. Sorry, Wikipedia is a wormhole. So, the program (should I call it a programme?) noted that she wanted a country-style look, going down the aisle a regular girl in a floral wreath...
Fergie and Andrew
... and then swapping to the tiara so she could exit the church a proper duchess. Apparently the hairdresser who had to do this was terribly stressed about it, and was on a chair hovering over Fergie's head removing all the pins while Fergie was hugging and kissing the entire royal family.
This seemed so cool and elegant compared to Diana's gown. I think it also holds up a bit better, overall. I mean, what am I saying? Diana's dress, by modern standards, is beyond a meringue. It's a meringue giving birth to meringue septuplets. Fergie's is just sort of old-fashioned.
Guests at Fergie's wedding
This shot was used as evidence of how the fashion's at Sarah's weddings were somewhat deplorably Dynasty, reminding me how much I loved the plummy way the Brits pronounce that word to rhyme with... hmm, how to spell it out.. finnesty. Little did that commentator know that people are probably wearing this exact stuff now to Royal Ascot, because we somehow kicked open the door to the '80s again.
Elton John
Remember when Eltie looked like this? He looks like a bad French game show. Also, at this time in his life, Elton John was married to a woman and writing songs about communist-capitalist forbidden love. Times were so different.
Wills
Yes, that behatted moppet up front is Prince William. At this point I still strongly suspected he and I were going to be married. Of course, this was not a time of realism in my life, as I was also fairly sure George Michael and I were meant to be.
Fergie's wedding
This, though, is my FAVORITE screen shot: It's The Queen chasing after Fergie and Andrew's carriage. RUNNING. IN PUBLIC. In what looks like a very Smurfy sombrero. Love. I hope Camilla keeps this photo in her wallet somewhere and deploys it whenever she's feeling dissed.
Edward and Sophie
At this point in the special, they were like, "And then also Edward got married to this nice lady. NEXT." Which is too bad because she looked quite pretty, and it seemed like a really chill affair -- you know, for a wedding where 8,000 commoners were randomly chosen to attend the reception.
Charles and Camilla
I'm actually glad these two ended up together. He seems so HAPPY and RELAXED since he married Camilla, and she definitely turned it out. That HAT. It looks like a cartwheeling bird. Also, please note that she almost appears subtly to be flipping off the camera with her right hand. Like, "So, England, you call me horse-faced? Well, HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, SUBJECTS?" Sigh. You two crazy kids. If Diana couldn't have a happy ending, I'm glad at least someone did.