July 23, 1984

Cher

I can't lie: I'm not a TREMENDOUS fan of Cher as a blond. And even worse, I do not think this is an updo -- you'll see the back in a minute, and I think she just maybe paid a relative to cut it with a child's safety scissors.

with Eric Stoltz

In 1984, he was 23 -- and about five months away from beginning to shoot Back to the Future and getting fired -- and Cher was 38. You might think, "Wait, did they date?" The answer is that I don't know...

Cher

... BUT I HAVE A THEORY.

Steven Bauer and Melanie Griffith

Steven Bauer up there is an actor, and Melanie's first husband. Melane up there is ALSO rocking a questionable quintessential '80s coif. AND a necktie AND a lace collar AND pearls. My God, it's all there.

Michael Douglas

Speaking of first spouses, here is Michael Douglas's. This was Romancing the Stone era Michael Douglas, too, which... he was real handsome.

Janet Leigh, Jamie Lee Curtis

Janet Leigh and Jamie Lee Curtis during "Grandview, USA" Premiere - July 23, 1984 at Samuel Goldwyn Theater in Beverly Hills, California, United States. (Photo by Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)

Look at young Donna Berzatto there! This is right around the time she would've pointed to a picture of Christopher Guest in a magazine and announced she was gonna meet and marry him, which she did in December 1984.

Jamie Lee Curtis and C. Thomas Howell

Did she date C. Thomas first? I don't know, but they're co-stars in the movie also. He dated famed Real Housewife Kyle Richards in the 80s, but I don't know when exactly. Back then she was known as "actress Kyle Richards." Which was true! however, she was reportedly 18 in 1987 and C. Thomas Howell was a couple years older, so... hopefully nothing was hinky???? The dates of their pairing have been scrubbed from Wiki.

The Police in Chicago

Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers of the Police performs on stage at Comiskey Park in Chicago, Illinois, July 23, 1984. (Photo by Paul Natkin/Getty Images)

Elsewhere, Sting was mounting the air. That is very impressive. I can get like an inch off the ground.

Karl Lagerfeld, Jerry Hall, et al

German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld poses with models including Jerry Hall (3rdR) on July 23, 1984 at the end of the autumn-winter 1984/1985 Haute Couture collection in Paris. AFP PHOTO PIERRE GUILLAUD (Photo by PIERRE GUILLAUD / AFP) (Photo credit should read PIERRE GUILLAUD/AFP via Getty Images)

Meanwhile, Chanel was showing a couture collection. It's always crazy to me to see Karl without glasses. His face never sticks in my memory. It was JUST the sunnies.

LOS ANGELES - JULY 23: Guitarist Slash's 19th birthday cake made by Canter's Deli on July 23 1984 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Marc S Canter/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)

And apparently Slash turned 19 on this day?!? I mean, this cake is a good clue, at least. And so... thoughtfully decorated.