June Vogues: 1989-present

1989: Estelle Lefébure

Well. A bathrobe certainly counts as less effort, but the jury is out on "more style." ... Oh, no, wait, the jury is back, and it votes GUILTY of blah in the first degree.

1990: Linda Evangelista

"Quick pieces with impact" does indeed apply to the beach craft projects Linda is wearing hre.

1991: Tatjana Patitz

Oh, Vogue, have I got things to tell YOU about a world with no wrinkles.

1992: Claudia Schiffer

I hate to break it to Anna, but all my clothes have more than nine lives. However, let us all cheer for the fact that THE INJECTIBLE TAN did not take off.

1993: Naomi Campbell

It's good to know Vogue is still pretty into fragrance (it was a real obsession for its May issues). I also didn't recognize Naomi at first. I'm just not used to her with the tiny 90s eyebrows for some reason.

1994: Julia Roberts

In case you hadn't guessed, Julia was promoting I Love Trouble. This was also the year Iman founded her cosmetics line, after 20 years of having to mix her own foundations because makeup artists acted like this was to difficult to achieve. Finally: There are UNTRUSTWORTHY mammograms? Are those, like, backroom mammograms? "Excuse me but that's just a flashlight"?

1995: Amber Valletta

Amber is working a real Twiggy facial vibe here.

1996: Kate Moss

So if May's obsession was fragrance, June is ALL about spas, apparently.

1997: Uma Thurman

"Today's most ravishing woman" is a curious compliment. It's like, "TODAY, yeah, but WATCH OUT FOR TOMORROW." I do like "ravishing," though.

1998: Sandra Bullock

I like to imagine that some of those bottom stories are actually part of the same story. "Spectacular Diamonds: A Stripper's Story," for example.

1999: Nicole Kidman

"Rich" feels like the operative word for this vibe.

2000: Gisele and George

This is not only a bad cover of George -- he seems heavily airbrushed, for one thing -- but you also don't even bother with him because he seems like Gisele's prop. Which is FINE, but also a strange choice for when you are making a splash (har) by putting a dude on the cover.

2001: Gisle

The idea of Vogue covering Temptation Island is giving me a real belly laugh.

2002: Ashley Judd

I can't decide if I think this is super of Ashley's face, but I actually really like the rest of it? The energy is nice, and the dress and the pose are super complementary.

2003: Reese

Vogue has REALLY been into talking about sunless tanning and SPF, by the way. Also, this SARS cover line is making me feel things. ALSO, Reese looks furious. Just wait until you hear about Covid, Reese.

2004: Kate Hudson

I wish I didn't dislike the dress here, because that is SUCH a fantastic photo of Kate's head.

2005: Salma Hayek

I find this cover to be busy and unfocused, but I must also note that I wish Salma would wear that now, because it looks awesome on her. Vogue just let her down on composition here, I think.

2006: Uma Thurman

Being gorgeous and sexy and a mom are the only things Uma Thurman had to offer here?!?

2007: Keira Knightley

This does not feel like hot-weather fashion. She looks sort of tired and overheated, frankly.

2008: SJP

How is THAT the best SJP photo they could get? She looks like she's staring at herself on the monitor and formulating a question about what is happening with her right bob.

2009: Cameron Diaz

I love this. Cameron looks great, and very refreshing. The white and green works so well.

2010: Blake Lively

Blake looks tentative here, and I assume some of that is because she's wearing a sweater that has been strategically sliced.

2011: Penelope Cruz

Lovely, but... perhaps a bit spaced-out?

2012: Hope Solo, Ryan Lochte, Serena Williams

Black cover subjects have been few and far between in this batch -- and in general; if you exclude group shots of models (there were about four of thse covers, I think?), since Naomi here in 1993 there was Oprah, Liya Kebede, Kiara Kabukuru, Halle Berry, sprinter Marion Jones, Michelle Obama, Beyonce, Halle again, and Rihanna. Those numbers are not good. Also, I cannot believe Serena FINALLY got on Vogue, only to be forced to a) hang onto that dolt Ryan Lochte, b) not even be completely in frame, as Ryan is unquestionably somehow the centerpiece; and c) not even look like herself. THAT IS NOT HER FACE.

2013: Kate Upton

This is a lot better than her Sports Illustrated covers. I feel like her face is still a bit on the dead-eyed side, though.

2014: Charlize

I guess the narrative here is that Charlize went swimming, met someone alluring by the pool, made arrangements to meet them by the tree so they could hit up the dinner buffet, and is waiting with sultry aplomb.