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Saniyya Sidney

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (12606153cg) Saniyya Sidney 'King Richard' film premiere, London, UK - 17 Nov 2021

She looks amazing. THAT is a party dress.

Demi Singleton

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Anthony Harvey/Shutterstock (12606154ap) Demi Singleton 'King Richard' film premiere, London, UK - 17 Nov 2021

I wish this had a little more shape to it? Or a bit more length? All that stuff thwapping against her thighs must be so irritating.

Jon Bernthal

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (12606153bq) Jon Bernthal 'King Richard' film premiere, London, UK - 17 Nov 2021

Jon Bernthal, you will be pleased to know, looks exactly like Jon Bernthal.

Pat Cash

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Anthony Harvey/Shutterstock (12606154ct) Pat Cash 'King Richard' film premiere, London, UK - 17 Nov 2021

This is where I learned that my brain has not retained what Pat Cash looks like. I keenly remember him being one of the first to climb into the stands -- he did it when he won Wimbledon and it felt like such a crazy, wild deal, and now it's basically expected -- and I remember his headbands. But if you had asked me to pick him out of a lineup I do not think I would have selected this person. Sorry, Pat. Please don't take it personally. I don't ever remember the date, either.

Will Smith

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (12606153ai) Will Smith 'King Richard' film premiere, London, UK - 17 Nov 2021

Will Smith continues to look dapper, but lightly evil? Something about the goatee gives him a Charismatic Devil vibe, and in fact, I would watch that show. I know, I know, we had Ray Wise in Reaper, and we had Tom Ellis in Lucifer, but STILL. It could be done.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Anthony Harvey/Shutterstock (12606154ac) Will Smith 'King Richard' film premiere, London, UK - 17 Nov 2021

I mean, look at this man. You'd at least THINK about accepting a favor from him. And like our souls are probably FAIRLY large, maybe you wouldn't miss a piece of yours, right?

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (12606153ao) Will Smith 'King Richard' film premiere, London, UK - 17 Nov 2021

And then he'll take a photo to remember you by, and that will seal the deal, cosmically speaking. Your soul piece will live in his iPhone, which is MOSTLY indestructible -- but just wait for that sweeps week episode focused entirely on just how LONG it can sit underwater somewhere before you really do need that bag of rice.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (12606153ap) Will Smith 'King Richard' film premiere, London, UK - 17 Nov 2021

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP, SOUL BOX!"

King Richard Crosses the Atlantic
Wait, why didn't they premiere this at Wimbledon? They could have tried for Flushing Meadows for the U.S. premiere, then on to Wimbledon, then to Roland Garros in Paris, and end it in Australia. So what if screening the actual movie there is hard. Think of the photos! THINK OF THE KITSCH VALUE. Everyone could eat their passed apps off tiny plates that look like the Wimbledon women's singles trophy. Y'all are going to want this one back, Event Planners!!! [Photos: David Fisher/Shutterstock, Anthony Harvey/Shutterstock]

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