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Rowan Blanchard in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023dg) Rowan Blanchard LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

This is sufficiently tacky that Alexis Carrington Colby wouldn't even offer her cheap caviar.

Salma Hayek in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9960028ac) Salma Hayek LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018 2018 LACMA Art + Film Gala Honoring Catherine Opie and Guillermo Del Toro - Presented by Gucci

And this is Krystle Carrington Dresses For Dinner.

St. Vincent in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023ba) St Vincent LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

She looks like she fell asleep at an '80s house party and just woke up. What IS it with Gucci and '80s nostalgia?

Andra Day in Zac Posen

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chelsea Lauren/REX/Shutterstock (9959974az) Andra Day LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

She deserves way more than all that stretching, pulling satin.

Dakota Johnson in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023aj) Dakota Johnson LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

I like the dramatic Glamorous Witch look on Dakota.

Lana Del Rey in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023ce) Lana Del Rey LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

Whereas she looks like a witch who's fallen on hard times.

Mia Maestro in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023ar) Mia Maestro LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

If that was lined with soething other than her best Macy's slip, it might be interesting.

Kim Kardashian in vintage Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023ea) Kim Kardashian LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

A lot of things look good on Kim, but a plain satin shift with weirdly lazy bust laces is not one of them. She almost never looks sloppy, but isn't that basically how this feels?

Kourtney in vintage Gucci

-Los Angeles, CA - 10/03/2018 LACMA Art + Film Gala -PICTURED: Kourtney Kardashian -PHOTO by: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com -SDL_44299 Startraks Photo New York, NY For licensing please call 212-414-9464 or email sales@startraksphoto.com

This doesn't look like it's quite the right size, either, but it's better than her sister's. If also deadly boring.

Karrueche Tran and Victor Cruz

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023bn) Victor Cruz and Karrauche Tran LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

These two are a dashing pair but I'm so distracted by his suit being blue and her dress being black.

Zoe Kravitz in Gabriela Hearst

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023bt) Zoƫ Kravitz LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

Zoe Kravitz, clearly the smartest person here, wore someone else entirely.

Hari Nef in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023h) Hari Nef LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

This almost looks related to Zoe's, but isn't. It's pretty except for the giant crow that died on it.

ASAP Rocky

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023cs) A$AP Rocky LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

He's going to make a GREAT Miss Hannigan.

Courtney Love in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023s) Courtney Love LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

I guess Courtney just really wanted to look jaundiced.

Liberty Ross in The Vampire's Wife

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9960023dp) Liberty Ross LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

The Vampire's Wife is doing Gucci better than Gucci is.

Rosanna Arquette

Mandatory Credit: Photo by imageSPACE/REX/Shutterstock (9960075m) Rosanna Arquette LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

This isn't bad, but the matching boots are a bit much. Perhaps she was just listening to a whole bunch of Prince this week.

Billie Lourd in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9960028be) Billie Lourd LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018 2018 LACMA Art + Film Gala Honoring Catherine Opie and Guillermo Del Toro - Presented by Gucci

This seems very elegant and downright normal...

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9960028bf) Billie Lourd LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018 2018 LACMA Art + Film Gala Honoring Catherine Opie and Guillermo Del Toro - Presented by Gucci

... so of course there's some kind of UFO/octopus hybrid on the back. 

Miranda Kerr

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9960028y) Miranda Kerr LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018 2018 LACMA Art + Film Gala Honoring Catherine Opie and Guillermo Del Toro - Presented by Gucci

Sure, why not! She looks nice. Every time I see her, I think, "Do people still use Snapchat?" (She married the founder.)  It will live in infamy thanks to Kim Kardashian and Taylor Swift, but otherwise it's kind of moving into the Friendster zone, right?

Paris Jackson

Mandatory Credit: Photo by imageSPACE/REX/Shutterstock (9960075ac) Paris Jackson LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

Did she... make her shoes herself, out of acutal shoeboxes?

Kristine Froseth

Mandatory Credit: Photo by imageSPACE/REX/Shutterstock (9960075d) Kristine Froseth LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018

Kristine is in Sierra Burgess Is A Loser -- she's the only person in the movie who has ANY kind of a character arc, and that's still not saying much, but she's adept in it -- and I guarantee that in ten minutes you will not remember her face because her dress looks like a melted Mardi Gras party and it's distracting from everything.

Jared Leto

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9960028ae) Jared Leto LACMA: Art and Film Gala, Los Angeles, USA - 03 Nov 2018 2018 LACMA Art + Film Gala Honoring Catherine Opie and Guillermo Del Toro - Presented by Gucci

It was the best wedding Wyatt Earp had ever attended.

The LACMA Gucci Gala is... So Very Gucci
Starring Salma, Jared, Dakota, and a defiant Zoe Kravitz. 

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