Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alan Davidson/Shutterstock (7540941e)
Cannes 1999 23/5/99 Laetitia Casta
Cannes 1999 23/5/99
We begin with a Cannes staple: a wearable window.
2000: with Milla Jovovich
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Shutterstock (321359a)
LAETITIA CASTA AND MILLA JOVOVICH (R)
BJORK AT THE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL WITH HER AWARD FOR BEST ACTRESS IN THE FILM 'DANCER IN THE DARK'
What would make a see-through filmy Vegas-caliver belly-dancing dress REALLY sing? The addition of MARINE LIFE.
2000
Victoria Secrets model Laetitia Casta arriving at the Special screening of 'Love Labours Lost' as part of the Amfar gala, at the Cannes Film Festival. The Amfar gala is designed to raise money for AIDS research. (Photo by Anthony Harvey - PA Images/PA Images via Getty Images)
The transition here has given me whiplash.
2001
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alan Davidson/Shutterstock (7549526bs)
Opening Night of the 54th Cannes Film Festival - Arrivals at the Screening of 'Moulin Rouge' at the Palais Des Festival Laetitia Casta
54th Cannes Film Festival
This is correctly called a kimono, right? I'm always worried I'm going to miss a nuance and bungle it. I wonder if she did some traveling that she found particularly inspirational this year, because for opening night she threw herself into this...
2001
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alan Davidson/Shutterstock (7543956b)
Final Night of the 54th Cannes Film Festival - Screening of Les åmes Fortes Laetitia Casta
Final Night of the 54th Cannes Film Festival - Screening of Les åmes Fortes
... and on the closing night, she went with a similar theme, but WITH what appears to be an obi or an obi-lik waistband...
FRANCE - MAY 20: 54th Cannes Film Festival : Stairs of closing ceremony In Cannes, France On May 20, 2001-Laetitia Casta, Frederic Diefenthal. (Photo by Pool BENAINOUS/DUCLOS/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)
... that is tied up so large in the back that it's practicaly lumbar support. It's the ONE year that she branched out into traditional garb like this, in a way that could be interpreted as... let's say costumey?
2002
Laetitia Casta wearing Alberta Ferretti (Photo by Jeff Vespa/WireImage)
Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
2003
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alan Davidson/Shutterstock (9190899aa)
Laetitia Casta
The Matrix Reloaded Premiere during the 53rd Cannes Film Festival on 15 May 2003
Not only did she possibly wake up like that, but she possibly woke up IN that.
2004
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Pietro Coccia/Shutterstock (452478o)
Laetitia Casta
57TH CANNES FILM FESTIVAL OPENING NIGHT, FRANCE - 12 MAY 2004
That's an upgrade.
2005
Laetitia Casta (Photo by George Pimentel/WireImage)
That's a nightdress. The tiny cardigan cannot change that.
2009
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Ian Langsdon/EPA/Shutterstock (7573638d)
French Actress Laetitia Casta Arrives For the Gala Screening of the Film 'Visage' by Taiwanese Director Tsai Ming-liang Running in Competition in the 62nd Edition of the Cannes Film Festival in Cannes France 23 May 2009
France Cannes Film Festival 2009 - 23 May 2009
The detailing on her skirt is gorgeous.
2011
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Joseph Kerlakian/Shutterstock (1324689f)
Laetitia Casta
La Conquete film premiere at the 64th Cannes Film Festival, Cannes, France - 18 May 2011
Her re-entry post-pregnancy feels almost timid. Or maybe I only say that because I know what's coming, and that is...
2013 in Dior
CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 26: Laetitia Casta attends the 'Zulu' Premiere and Closing Ceremony during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival at the Palais des Festivals on May 26, 2013 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
THIS, evidently from Dior's Hogwarts collection, depicting a botched transfiguration into Fawkes the Phoenix. Also with 100 percent more crotch than we're used to from wizarding school.
2014 in Dior
CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 14: Laetitia Casta attends the Opening ceremony and the "Grace of Monaco" Premiere during the 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 14, 2014 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images for Variety)
If you're wondering whether anyone tailored this...
2014
CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 14: Laetitia Casta attends the Opening ceremony and the "Grace of Monaco" Premiere during the 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 14, 2014 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images)
... the answer is no. They just taped that shit to her back and thighs and sent her out there.
2015 in Givenchy
Riccardo Tisci was a terrible, terrible misstep for Givenchy, not least of which is because this dress did not come with 50 tiny butlers to go with each individual pull.
2016
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Joanne Davidson/Shutterstock (7531800aa)
Cannes France 18th May 2016: Laetitia Casta Attends the Gala Premier of the Unknown Girl (la Fille Inconnue) During the 69th Cannes Film Festival in Cannes France 18th May 2016
Shm: Cannes 2016: the Unknown Girl
This is a cat's cradle of crazy.
2017
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Joanne Davidson/Shutterstock (8826732x)
Laetitia Casta
'The Meyerowitz Stories' premiere, 70th Cannes Film Festival, France - 21 May 2017
WEARING SAINT LAURENT SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *8445829q
I'm just going to stare at her face here.
2017
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alberto Terenghi/Cannes/IPA/Shutterstock (8836026v)
Laetitia Casta
Lunch at Agora, 70th Cannes Film Festival, France - 23 May 2017
I think you should see a dermatologist about that, Laetitia.
2017
... you should maybe just see a different stylist about that.
2018 in McQueen
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Maria Laura Antonelli/Shutterstock (9670361cm)
Laetitia Casta
'Sink or Swim' premiere, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 13 May 2018
WEARING ALEXANDER MCQUEEN SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *9444618al
I am concerned that she did not. I also hope she deep-conditions this and untangles it 100 times a day with the My Little Pony star-shaped brush that came with it.
