Fox's "The X Factor" Season Finale - Night 1
Y'ALL. WHAT AM I AM EVEN WEARING HERE. IS THIS A JUMPSUIT? AM I WEARING SOCKS WITH PEEP TOED SHOES? WHY CAN'T I FIND THE CAPS LOCK KEY ON MY LAPTOP TO okay. Everything is fine. Anyway, what I was trying to say is: I CLEARLY NEED A VACATION, Y'ALL.
Fox's "The X Factor" Season Finale - Night 2
I ALSO need an appointment with my chiropractor because walking around all Mary Katherine Gallagher like this CAN NOT BE GOOD FOR ME. Do you think that while I was sleeping maybe the aliens put a metal rod in my back? Y'all, Mulder -- ugh. Wait. Wrong show. I really wish people would have TOLD ME THAT EARLIER. Every time I told Jamie Lynn my theory about how maybe I was possessed by the black oil she just laughed and laughed and now I know why. Also, again, WHAT AM I WEARING, Y'ALL? I miss my cut-offs. I miss my cut-offs so bad.
'The X Factor' finale, Los Angeles
Also, y'all: Mario Lopez. We have to talk about him. He keeps trying to get me to teach him the "(You Drive Me) Crazy" dance but he will not accept the fact that I can't teach it to him without a chair. Why do people keep asking me to do that dance without giving me a chair or Melissa Joan Hart to sit on? Also, whenever we talk about it, I start thinking about how I am sad that people don't settle disagreements with dance-offs anymore JUSTIN.
Celebrities arrive at 'The X Factor' finale, Los Angeles
Y'all. I just want to wash my face. FOREVER.