Felder Felder - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
London really likes its patterns. I also need to point out whoever that is wearing a bright yellow... hat? wig? ... in the front row.
Felder Felder - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
London also seems to like its nipples. But then again, fashion as a whole loves nipples, probably for artsy important reasons I'm too much of a Philistine to understand.
Felder Felder - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
Something has crawled out of the trash bag...
DAKS - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
Heeeeeere comes the briiiiide... all sad and snide...
DAKS - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
Can't you see Diane Kruger getting off a boat at a film festival wearing this, with Pacey holding an umbrella in one hand and reaching for her with the other?
DAKS - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
The one situation where pants don't help.
DAKS - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
I am going to rent an office just so I can show up to work somewhere looking like this.
DAKS - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
This does, however, feel a bit like someone fell asleep on a Burberry scarf and woke up inspired.
Yeashin - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
She is playing a tree in a second-grade play.
Yeashin - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
She is playing a fabric store in a second-grade play.
PPQ - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
I enjoy a hit of yellow. Look at me being all nice!
PPQ - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
Oy.
PPQ - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
I really love this color but this dress does not take kindly to, you know, movement.
PPQ - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
That pattern looks like the carpet at my local bounce-house birthday-party place.
PPQ - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
Good grief.
PPQ - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
GOOD GRIEFIER.
Zoe Jordan - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
I like chevrons, but usually more than just one. Instead, this one just seems to be pointing down at the rest of the outfit, as if to say, "I KNOW, RIGHT????"
David Koma - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
This makes me want to be on a hotel balcony in the tropics, sipping a beverage that has umbrellas and fruit in it.
David Koma - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
That structure is very precise and cool. And I hear if you strum her chest it makes lovely music.
David Koma - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
That is cute though. It appears to zip all the way up the front, which almost never works on real people in real life, but whatever. That won't be my problem.
David Koma - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
Listen, I love the letter H as much as the next Heather, but that doesn't mean it needs to be draped all over her bosom.
David Koma - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
Intriguing to look at, crazy to wear.
David Koma - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
She looks so uncomfortable. Which is weird because of all the clothes in London this seems like one of the least challenging.
Antonio Berardi - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
Another front zip. Also, London has been REALLY into asymmetrical hemlines.
Antonio Berardi - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
This feels sexy-caftanic in a way that makes me wish, say, Joan Allen had a reason to work the awards circuit.
Antonio Berardi - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
You left your bib on, kid. Hopefully you left your underwear on as well.
Antonio Berardi - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
Whoa. It's like an armored 1980s workout suit.
Antonio Berardi - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
That dress might be neat, though. The sleeves on the jacket are interesting on the runway but I don't think people on the red carpet a) make a practice of wearing jackets, or b) want their forearms to look swollen.
Antonio Berardi - Runway: London Fashion Week SS14
I looked at this and thought of Whitney Port. Probably not what the designer was going for...