Longlegs Premiere

Maika Monroe in Courrèges

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JULY 08: Maika Monroe attends the premiere of Neon's "Longlegs" at The Egyptian Theatre Hollywood on July 08, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images)

She's dressed as a Chippendale's dancer -- you know, when they come out in tuxedo pants with a bow tie around their naked neck. It's all i can see now.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JULY 08: Maika Monroe attends the premiere of Neon's "Longlegs" at The Egyptian Theatre Hollywood on July 08, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Sussman/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images)

Things do not improve from the side.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JULY 08: Maika Monroe attends the premiere of Neon's "Longlegs" at The Egyptian Theatre Hollywood on July 08, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Sussman/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images)

However, if anyone is looking to make a No Doubt movie, or a Gwen Stefani biopic, we have our lead.

Nic Cage

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JULY 08: Nicolas Cage attends the premiere of Neon's "Longlegs" at The Egyptian Theatre Hollywood on July 08, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Sussman/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images)

His lapels have a little magicians' twinkle on it. That's not a euphemism for anything; it just means the bit of sparkle makes me think he's got a magic trick to do. I guess opening my doors of perception could count.

Grace Van Dien

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JULY 08: Grace Van Dien attends the premiere of Neon's "Longlegs" at The Egyptian Theatre Hollywood on July 08, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Sussman/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images)

She and her satin nightie aren't ready for doors to blow open.

Alicia Witt

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JULY 08: Alicia Witt attends the premiere of Neon's "Longlegs" at The Egyptian Theatre Hollywood on July 08, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Sussman/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images)

I truly did not recognize her. She's in the movie and she's really coordinated her toes AND her jewelry to her dress. She has covered every imaginable base.

Shannon Purser

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JULY 08: Shannon Purser attends the premiere of Neon's "Longlegs" at The Egyptian Theatre Hollywood on July 08, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Sussman/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images)

If this was the other choice, I'd definitely have done black shoes.

Blair Underwood

Blair Underwood at "Longlegs" Los Angeles premiere held at the Egyptian Theater on July 8, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty Images)

Honestly? Ditto.