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Nicki Minaj

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Odette Martin/REX/Shutterstock (9880722g) Nicki Minaj Marc Jacobs show, Arrivals, New York Fashion Week - 12 Sep 2018

Coming soon: The story of Alice In Wonderland from the point of view of the roses who so rudely got painted red, and didn't goddamn WANT to be, like, SIT DOWN, ALICE, WHO INVITED YOU, ANYWAY.

Emily Ratajkowski

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Swan Gallet/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9880746f) Emily Ratajkowski in the front row Marc Jacobs show, Front Row, Spring Summer 2019, New York Fashion Week, USA - 12 Sep 2018

Emily can play one of the flowers that died. Oh, and if you aren't sure whether a giant taffeta blob shirt can get any more hideous...

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Swan Gallet/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9879754n) Emily Ratajkowski Marc Jacobs show, Arrivals, Spring Summer 2019, New York Fashion Week, USA - 12 Sep 2018

It's a giant taffeta TUBE BLOB.

Karen Elson

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Swan Gallet/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9879754u) Karen Elson Marc Jacobs show, Arrivals, Spring Summer 2019, New York Fashion Week, USA - 12 Sep 2018

This all looks VERY sane in comparison. (And while I wouldn't personally want those pants, they look well-made, and give her a kind of Funky Outlander Lady vibe.

Sofia Coppola

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Odette Martin/REX/Shutterstock (9880722l) Sofia Coppola Marc Jacobs show, Arrivals, New York Fashion Week - 12 Sep 2018

Sofia is cheerfully not here for fashion shenanigans.

The Marc Jacobs Front Row is Whaaaaat.
And strangely underpopulated.

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