2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

I feel like Michael Bay is all, "PICTURE IT, HOT TWO-NAMED GIRL WHOM I'VE CHOSEN TO REPLACE MEGAN FOX! SOON THIS WILL ALL BE YOURS!" and she's all, "snore."

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

Nicky Whelan here was on Neighbors, and needs to FIRE whoever told her to leave the house in this.

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

Sophie Monk still really thinks this Fame in The United States thing is going to happen. But I fear that, much like my relationship with Jon Hamm, if it has not materialized yet, it never will.

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

This is a wrestler named Kelly Kelly. I think she should just go all the way to a salute to that Woody Harrelson bit on Cheers and call herself Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly KELLY KELLY KELLY KELLY KELLY.*

CORRECTION: Although Kelly Kelly ALSO wore this dress to this event, THIS photo is Casey Durkin, an actress and Deal or No Deal model who sent us a sincerely funny email about the mix up. She also pointed out, in her words, "I'm rocking the tackiest dollar sign Guiseppe shoes with the dress. I was going for 'new money meets hip hop drag queen' WERK!" Casey, you're hilarious -- thank you for being a good sport. I hope you and Kelly Kelly Kelly KELLY KELLY KELLY managed to settle this the old fashion way: mud-wrestling.

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

If Camilla Luddington here looks familiar, it's because you just saw her play Kate Middleton in the Lifetime Mega Opus WILLIAM AND KATE. If the outfit looks familiar, it's because we saw it on Kristin Cavallari a couple of years ago. (She looks cute, though.)

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

Sarah Shahi here is on Fairly Legal on USA and I've heard she's good on it. I have no idea, because I've never watched that show and in fact thought it was called first Barely Legal and then Mostly Legal. Whoops. Sorry, USA! I love White Collar, does that make it better? Hilarie Burton looks GREAT on it. Sarah here looks a bit like she....didn't mean to wear all this together.

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

Hope Dworaczyk is a Playmate -- and thus, isn't she banned from a Maxim party? I also found her kind of unbearable on The Apprentice this year, mostly because she slowly morphed from Silent to Smug, and then she got fired, and my GOD that show is awful now. I quit it the same week NeNe Leakes did. Anyway: I like the skirt.

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

I feel like Keri Hilson has to be like, "dude. Where are the rest of the celebrities. AM I IT?"

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

Luckily, Amber Rose is there, in cute glasses. They at least can talk about Kanye West, since Amber dated him and Keri Hilson has worked with him. I HOPE THEY TALK ABOUT HIM IN ALL CAPS.

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

Melanie Iglesias is Maxim's Hometown Hottie of the Year. She is cute, and also providing a useful service in that every other Hottie at the party can check her lipstick in her dress.

2011 Maxim Hot 100 Party

Of course Olivia Munn is there.

Maxim Hot 100 Party Mostly Fug Omnibus

The Maxim Hot 100 Party turned out to be kind of the Maxim Please Come to This Party If We Invite You Party. Seriously. When the most A list star on the guest list at a Maxim party is Michael Bay...well, either someone dropped the ball or THINGS ARE ABOUT TO BLOW UP. I mean, seriously, Maxim. I know LiLo's under house arrest, but surely a Hilton could have dropped by. And I have a long-documented series of issues with Maxim -- primarily that I find the whole tone of their magazine to be disingenuous, all, "here's an enriching article about whiskey OH MY GOD LOOK AN ACTRESS BEST KNOWN FOR BEING PRIM ON THE WB IS NAKED HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!" and I am firmly of the belief that if you are a magazine with naked people in it, you should be all, "hey, look! NUDITY" and just own it. Let's all be adults and not pretend we don't know what we're here for -- so you know if EVEN I, Crabby McGee, am all, "aw, Maxim, you need to hire someone else to run these things!" then the situation is Sadsville. Let's visit.