Lindsay Lohan
Oh, Lindsay. How long ago this was. How optimistic we were. How much we had yet to learn about one another. How unevenly you have self-tanned your legs.
Rachel McAdams
Wedding Crashers came out in 2005, which may explain why she had the darker hair at this event. That dress is pretty boring, but ALSO very 2004 -- it looks like every drapey dress Express sold back then -- but the raspberry is amazing on her.
Lizzy Caplan
In a hundred years, would you have known that was Lizzy "Janis Ian" Caplan if I hadn't told you?
Lacey Chabert
She looks sort of like a junior Real Housewife. Gretchen Wieners, by the way, would absolutely not only take that as a compliment but ASPIRE to it.
Amanda Seyfried
Mean Girls was revelatory because so far I'd only really seen her on All My Children and Big Love, and Karen is a surprisingly hard part because of how broadly comedic it is but how gently it needs to be handled. She's so deft in this movie.
Daniel Franzese
I really liked him in this movie. And then kind of lost track of him, so it's good to know he's eked out a living. (Most recently he was in Looking, which I didn't watch.) Having said that, am I crazy or does he look eerily like a half-Trump in this photo? Like if Don Jr. had escaped to different state and raised himself with a suit allergy?
Tina Fey
"Hello! I did NOT have a stylist!"
Amy Poehler
"Why do I need a stylist? I can go to Old Navy my own damn self."
Arielle Kebbel
Arielle is one of those actresses you have DEFINITELY seen in something, probably multiple things, because her resume is full of guest arcs. UnREAL! The Grinder! The Vampire Diaries! That 90210 that The CW made! She was also in Ballers and has a Bone Collector show that's probably going to get cancelled! She's all over the place. And, in 2004, she was here. (At the time she had TWO guest arcs: on Gilmore Girls and on Grounded For Life.) I don't know where this is going except to say that careers are long and winding.
Kathryn Newton
To wit: Kathryn, here BUT A TOT, now has Big Little Lies and four seasons of Supernatural under her belt and did a movie (Blockers) about a virginity pact. KIDS. They have a nasty habit of becoming adults.
Bethany Joy Lenz
This whole outfit feels very Haley James Scott to me. (That's a One Tree Hill reference, just in case.)(Yes, sometimes it feels like we've reached the point where ALL our references are old.)
Bonnie Somerville
Hope she kept that shirt. It'd be nice for Our Times.
Alexa Vega
"I am SO glad ultra-low jeans with shrunken shirts will never go out of style!"
Mae Whitman
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY WENT OUT OF STYLE?"
Tangi Miller
Tangi knows this dress is NOT going to go out of style. Well played.
Jonathan Bennett
Aaron Samuels's commitment to his eyebrows is as firm as ever
LiLo
There was a separate New York screening. The lighting was odd in some of these photos; I HOPE that is why she looks like a traffic cone, and not because she actually did.
Lizzy Caplan
Again... you could have told me this was Andie McPhee from Dawson's Creek and I'd have at least THOUGHT about believing you. And in case you're wondering what's around her neck...
... the answer is THIS, FOR SOME REASON, which is arguably one of the most pointless garments in existence and may exist only to leave chafe marks on her neck.
Lacey Chabert
Gretchen, Gretchen, Gretchen.
Tina Fey
"Still not using a stylist. My dog ate my skirt. Whatever."
Amanda Seyfried
Maybe the lighting was so dark because everyone was trying very hard to keep Amanda's dress from being TOO see-through. Alas, there was no hope.
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett
I actually did forget they were married. HUH.
Peter Gallagher, wife Paula Harwood, and and daughter Katherine
Please watch Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist, but only if you don't mind having feelings that sometimes come out your eyes and often relate to Peter Gallagher singing. The episodes are uneven -- I don't care about her brother, for example -- but often very funny, with great singing, and with BEAUTIFUL choreography from Mandy "Not That One" Moore. Non-spoiler spoiler: There is one song and dance performed entirely in sign language, and it's really gorgeous.
Tim Meadows
Is it weird that I kind of want him to come back to SNL?
Poster
Let's also talk posters. This one is kind of bad, right? I like her looking nervously back at the girls who are standing behind her back. I get "watch your back" as a conceit here. But it's SO texty, and so much of it is causing me to cock my neck uncomfortably. Seyfried looks hammred and is standing in a truly bizarre way, and Rachel is also contorting herself like she's a preening bird, with her legs unrealistically wide open. I just got up to try this pose, to see if I woulc actually stand like that, and I had to WORK to do it.
This version is weird because Rachel is popping out to say cuckoo, like a Von Trapp child.
THIS version is all wrong, too. There's not enough difference between Lindsay's outfit and the Plastics'. Lacey is just yanking down the OTHER side of her skirt. Amanda looks.. okay, sure. But they have aded a random hand onto Rachel's shoulder, and then cut up and rotated her arm so that it looks like SHE is touching Amanda, when you know all three of them were photographed alone. Where did all those HANDS come from?!? They've basically spliced one onto Rachel's arm in the middle of Amanda's hair. It's insane.
This is... seriously, who did Lacey Chabert's makeup and lighting? What is HAPPENING?