Men of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Brad Pitt

At the time I began this post, the only red carpet pics we had were of Brad entering, Brad walking, Brad hanging out with all the fans and taking selfies. I decided to keep it that way. This outfit does not end in cloven hooves, or Vibram five-finger shoes, or glittering Birkenstocks. You've got the essence right here: Brad, in a shirt that looks blue here but which I believe is actually white, just sorta strolled in there looking foxy and cool and effortless.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Michael Buckner/Variety/Shutterstock (10342016am) Brad Pitt 'Once Upon a Time in Hollywood' film premiere, Arrivals, TCL Chinese Theatre, Los Angeles, USA - 22 Jul 2019

I am so glad he pulled through that creepy greaseball Brad Pitt phase and settled into on who is... very well taken care of, I suspct, but also not trying to look 25. He's going to be a silver fox soon and I'm here for it.

Leonardo DiCaprio

Leo looks fine, but a bit stiffer. But fine! It's not really fair to compare them, and I'm only really doing it in jest. It's just interesting to see two megastars serve up different flavors of confidence.

QT, Brad, Margot, Leo

, Los Angeles, CA - 20190722 Cast members arrive at the premiere of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, held at the TLC Chinese Theater in Hollywood. -PICTURED: Quentin Tarantino, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Leonardo DiCaprio -PHOTO by: JENNIFER GRAYLOCK/INSTARimages.com This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded

Then again, maybe Leo's jacket is just too tight.

Elsa Pataky and Chris Hemsworth

"Tell Pitt he can play my father someday. I'm waiting." (And theoretically, he could; they're twenty years apart in age.)

Robin Thicke and April Love Geary

, Los Angeles, CA -20190722-The World Premiere of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood -PICTURED: April Love Geary, Robin Thicke -PHOTO by: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Startraks Photo for licensing fee and rights information at sales@startraksphoto.com or call +1 212 414 9464 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Startraks Photo reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded

Is he still a thing? Huh.

Mike Moh

Mike plays Bruce Lee in the movie, and I am delighted by his snazzy jacket.

Don Johnson

"You got me! I'm not in this thing at all. I just want you to think I am. Because don't you miss ol' Donnie?"

Travis Scott

Kylie Jenner needs to work with him on his posing.

Pierce Brosnan and Dylan Brosnan

I assume Dylan came dressed like that to be thematic.

Timothy Olyphant

Whereas I assume Timothy came dressed like that because he knows he looks tasty.

John Stamos and Caitlin McHugh

So close, Stamos. Your lenses ALMOST match her dress.

Topher Grace

Sure!

Walton Goggins and Nadia Conners

I misread the caption for this at first as Nadia COMANECI, and thought I had stumbled on some SERIOUS GOSSIP. And THEN I remembered Nadia Comaneci is married to Bart CONNER, and suddenly couldn't remember if his name had an S on the end, like, what if I REALLY HAD stumbled on some gossip?... Reader, I had not. Please enjoy Walton's pearly whites.

Eli Roth

Do we think this is ALSO intended to be era-appropriate? It is... not attractive either way.

Austin Butler

And here is Austin Butler, no longer the Goldilocks he was during Carrie Diaries days. He'd gone brown a while before that, but now he has a very good reason: He's just been cast as Elvis Presley in the Baz Luhrmann biopic.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (10342015ab) Austin Butler 'Once Upon a Time in Hollywood' film premiere, Arrivals, TCL Chinese Theatre, Los Angeles, USA - 22 Jul 2019

I mean... I can see why.