Robert Pattinson in Dior

Twitter was all "OMG ROBERT PATTINSON WORE A SKIRT," and to me the only all-caps issue here is that he wore a brown furry jacket, navy tweed skirt, and black boots. Black shoes don't go with this, Robert.

J Balvin

Meanwhile nobody seemed to care that J. Balvin also wore a skirt. Perhaps it's because he nailed the color scheme better.

Eddie Redmaybe

Everything seems in order here.

Cruz and David Beckham

The untucked shirt and long pants make it look like he's wearing his dad's suit.

Amber Valletta

This outfit in front of that backdrop is killing me. They gave her pants with a half-skirt over them and we can barely even see it. SHOW OFF YOUR WEIRD PANTS BETTER, DIOR.

Gwen Christie

I love seeing her in a suit.

Karlie Kloss

So she tried the skirt on over the pants, and forgot, and left in them both? Maybe she SHOPLIFTED the pants.

Naomi Campbell in Loewe

I can't tell if those are the dumb big Loewe slepeing-bag shoes, or just dumb big Loewe pant cuffs. The common denominator is dumb, big Loewe.

Will Sharpe and Naomi Ackie in Loewe

"If you won't tell me why you chose those pants, at LEAST tell me what really happened in the White Lotus finale."

Timothee Chalamet in Loewe

This is very boring for a Loewe show. Where are his balloon appendages?!? Parenthetically, I just need to say that the role of his lifetime, the one for which I will always remember and appreciate him, is clearly the Apple TV+ commercial that's running right now. Sincerely.

Taylor Russell in Loewe

"Like a condom, but also a trenchcoat," they said.

Usher in Louis Vuitton

That belt looks a bit like something he made at camp. I'm not MAD at it, but I assume he also fashioned it while singing racy alternate lyrics to popular songs and before short-sheeting someone's bed.

Lucien Laviscount in LV

I hope there's an 8-bit Louis Vuitton video game from which this is derived.

Rose Leslie, Kit Harington, both in LV

I assume there's a Game of Thrones requirement, and since Sophie Turner couldn't go... truly, they both look good, and it's nice to see Rose again.

J Hope in LV

THE PATTERN IS A FACE. It's actually sort of neat; it's just the eyes that throw me.

Tyra at Louis Vuitton

I can't tell if Tyra was INVITED to LV, or if she just went and took photos outside. There are no photos of her inside the actual building.

Rosalia in LV

I don't have any shots of her inside, either, but she did ENTER the building from what I saw. I did NOT know that LV had gotten into the business of making Snuggies.

Karlie and Joshua Kushner

I had forgotten this Kushner even existed, and so for a hot second I was like, "Is this Jason Biggs? After a long nap???"

Karlie Kloss in LV

I love that, though. Oh, the power of a simple wool coat.

Matt Bomer at Hermes

Hello. Also, I was going to make a joke about a White Collar reboot, and then I remembered Mozzie is no longer with us, and that sucks.

James Norton at Hermes

Your favorite former vicar brought his floppiest, floopiest hair. (That is a compliment, by the way.)

James Norton

Everyone looks hotter in sunglasses, although this outfit didn't need the help.

Simona Tabasco in Alexandre Mattiussi

Simona must be excited for people to see her in clothes that AREN'T her "business outfits" from White Lotus. (She played a prostitute.)(EVERYTHING was tight.)

Simona Tabasco in JW Anderson

This is, in fact, the actual opposite of everything she would have worn on that show.

Shalom Harlow in Saint Laurent

Well. Hoods were in, and bra tops were in, and now we have a hood with a built-in bra.

Jenna Ortega in Saint Laurent

This is TOTALLY Wednesday Addams Grows Up Into a Socialite.

Laura Harrier in Saint Laurent

This has a very decadent 90s feel to it.

Camille Razat in Kenzo

She's the best square-dance caller in all of France.

Lucas Bravo in Bode

Somewhere, Ben Platt just sat up and yelled, "THEY SHOULD BE MINE."

Charli XCX in JW Anderson

This is very Intermix circa the early Aughts.

Sabrina Impacciatore in JW Anderson

Is this... a baggy catsuit? Is it more of a WET suit?

Idris and Sabrina Elba in Gucci

They are very slick.

Jeremy O. Harris

Not gonna lie... I am REALLY curious where Gucci is going with this. Will Jared Leto be in overalls in a year? Or will he jump ship along with Alessandro Michele?

Rob Pattinson, Gwen Christie, Jenna Ortega and More: It's Menswear Week in Paris and Milan

I love a good Fashion Week front-row omnibus.