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Beyonce

I mean, this whole thing... Beyonce, you just had a baby. YOUR BOD LOOKS FANTASTIC. If she'd striven to flaunt that LESS, I think we'd have noticed it MORE. Does that make sense? You don't need bells and whistles, honey. YOU are the bells and whistles.

Beyonce

It's like how if you buy a really prime cut of meat, you don't need a marinade and a heavy sauce to drown out its natural flavor. Just a little salt and pepper will do. And yes, I just compared Beyonce to steak. But it's a compliment. I LOVE steak. Also, her face is exhibit A to prove that argument: She kept it so simple, and from the neck up, she is SO STUNNING.

Beyonce

I just keep thinking, "Rogaine accident."

Beyonce

Imagine for a second if this were NOT transparent everywhere, but just erupted in that train. Or it had a LITTLE peekaboo but not quite so much. DId it need to be turned up to eleven?

Beyonce

This, however, is my favorite. There is something delicious to me about Beyonce standing in a corner of the venue next to a tented catering cart, or something, hands on her hips, like she just wants to kick off her shoes, hurl her Muppet skirt over her shoulder, and grab a piece of cake from under the trolley cover. Go for it, Bey. We support you.

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Beyonce
Dear Bey, YOU ARE NOT ASHANTI. Nor should you strive to be. Love, The Fug Girls [Photos: Getty]

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