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# Met Ball Fug Carpet: More Olde-Tymey Melodrama
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/met-ball-fug-carpet-more-olde-tymey-melodrama/
- Published: 2013-05-07T21:30:37.000Z
- Updated: 2013-05-07T08:57:52.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35

## Katy Perry

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/168190022.xml)

Katy, for instance, is the rebellious never-getting-the-throne sister of the Scottish monarch who's helping hide Linda, and she sits around wearing the crown jewels and dipping into the mead and bedding the help as openly as possible so as to make everyone really uncomfortable -- kind of the Prince Harry of that situation, except with LESS discipline.

## Zachary Quinto

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/168193163.xml)

Zachary, for instance, REALLY likes to get naked with Katy on the dining room table, a rough-hewn slab of tree that's not entirely finished and thus is prone to giving splinters in THE most awkward places. He also experiments with hallucinogenic hair dyes, falls for Lady Jane, and teaches her all about snortable powders.

## Ashley Olsen

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/168203431.xml)

Ashley will be the character who's believed to be a descendent of Morgan Le Fay, Arthurian Sorceress, and who uses lots of discarded animal parts to make potions that will make Lady Jane stronger and then also stuffs the leftovers into bonbons that she sells to unsuspecting vegans, just to mess with them.

## Mary-Kate Olsen

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/168197807.xml)

And Mary-Kate... well, because this poorly realized fan-fic CLEARLY somehow also exists on the same plane as *Game of Thrones*, Mary-Kate is probably some kind of warrior princess with a lot of silent consonants and loud vowels -- including Sometimes Y -- in her name, like Ghaedraenylythxlaels, who cross-breeds mythical beasts for her own war-mongering purposes and collects as trophies the furs of the men she beds, who all have really normal names that just have an extra letter in them, like Paull or Tyryne or Pahtrik.

[Met Ball Fug Carpet: More Olde-Tymey MelodramaIf Linda Evangelista looked like the cover of a book about Lady Jane Grey, fictionalizing that she lived and was whisked away to grow up in hiding in Scotland, or something, so she could come back and claim the throne from a position of strength, then several other people are apparently supporting players in that story. Was there a memo? \[Photos: Getty\]![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/168190022.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/met-ball-fug-carpet-more-olde-tymey-melodrama-05-2013/)