Eva Mendes

Sometimes, what puts me off Eva Mendes is that 8 times out of 10, her facial expression says, "What? Why aren't you genuflecting? I'm EVA FREAKING MENDES."

Eva Mendes

This, I hate. How's that for blunt? But I don't have that much patience for ragged hems -- cut to me, six months from now, tearing all my clothes so that they do that -- and I REALLY think the entire look is haphazard. The skirt is caught up strangely behind the belt, and that HEINOUS ruffle on her boobs is like something from a deeply cheap aquarium.

Eva Mendes

I mean, come on, did it even want to be there, or was it stapled to her chest under duress? I also hate how the skirt fabric hangs, and to top it all off, it also manages to be BORING. How, I do not know.

But here is where my vitriol wears off a little...

Eva Mendes

This is a bit more like it. It's simple, but if you're convinced I should be looking at you, I'm a lot more inclined to do it in something as flattering as this.

AND THEN.

Eva Mendes

Girl, if you are willing to wear this for a skit with Jimmy Fallon wherein you hold up a giant key and (presumably) pretend to wind him up, well, I am IN.

Eva Mendes

DOUBLE IN. Man, I'm so in that I'm almost back out again.

Met Ball Fug or Fab: Eva Mendes, Plus Bonus Crazy

Ordinarily, the Sleeve parade is not one that I join. Nor, in general, is the Eva Mendes parade. And I think the belt is a bit of a mismatch -- too casual for this dress, too random in the styling compared with the rest of the look. But now that we've got the litany of negatives out there, let's look at what's okay: The pleating on that gown gives it a beautiful flow, it catches the light nicely, and is it just me or is she kinda pulling off the giant sleeve? I'd be curious to see it without -- it might push it toward glam and away from 1987 Elementary School Art Teacher On Parent Night -- but since I'm surprised I don't abjectly hate it, I am letting you decide for me. Meanwhile, she wore something I DID hate earlier in the week, but redeemed herself on Jimmy Fallon's show. I'm so fickle. Come see why. [poll id="2402"]