Met Gala 2018: Crosses and a Collar

J.Lo in Balmain

the Heavenly Bodies Fashion The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 7, 2018 in New York City. Featuring: Jennifer Lopez Where: New York, New York, United States When: 08 May 2018 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com

I have to say, this was both instantly recognizable as Balmain, and also surprisingly good. I think she looks like a bad-ass sexy warrior.

Celebs flock to the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum in NYC Featuring: Jennifer Lopez, Alex Rodriguez Where: Manhattan, New York, United States When: 07 May 2018 Credit: Rob Rich/WENN.com

The people covering the red carpet only seemed to want to ask Jennifer how it felt to be there with Alex, and vice-versa, as if they are the only interesting things about each other. Boo. But her answer was that she texted him in the car on the way over to tell him she feels lucky which... were they not together? It's possible he was coming from work, or something. But I prefer to imagine that she couldn't travel by car with anyone else because her train needed care.

Chadwick Boseman in Versace

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Andrew H. Walker/REX/Shutterstock (9662977io) Chadwick Boseman The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018 WEARING VERSACE

This is not subtle, but manages to be more charming than, say, your typical Jared Leto priestly offering. He looks damn near swashbucklingly hot in this, which is not something one typically says about holy-adjacent vestments. I might go back to Church if it's on Wakanda.

Tessa Thompson in Thom Browne

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9665131cm) Tessa Thompson attends The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute benefit gala celebrating the opening of the Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination exhibition, in New York 2018 MET Museum Costume Institute Benefit Gala, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

The Twitterverse has been all abuzz with Tessa's BFF-ship with Janelle Monae, and she is here wearing Thom Browne, a Monae fave. This is actually among the most subtle things Browne has ever made, and yes, I say that knowing the bejewelled priest collar is NOT subtle at all. (It's also not a cross, but in terms of being iconic, I decided it was on par.) She looks quite fantastic, and as if she and Janelle are an otherworldly set of officiants roaming the world and teaching jolly, faithful fabness. Chadwick will join and perform some miracles.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Andrew H. Walker/REX/Shutterstock (9662977me) Tessa Thompson The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018

I also think her hair construction is stunning.

Taylor Hill

Taylor's naughty priestess might join them. I actually think this is fun-saucy -- the cut of the outfit is unmistakable and gets the point across, while also making it more Fashion.

Trevor Noah

And Trevor Noah is going to be the first alternate on their team.

Uma Thurman in Gabriela Hearst

the Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala at Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 7, 2018 in New York City. Featuring: Uma Thurman Where: New York, New York, United States When: 08 May 2018 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com

This is basically... a nice white dress she liked, and then she went to the jeweler and said, "Give me all the candy-coated crosses you can find, and we'll call it a day."

Celebs flock to the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum in NYC Featuring: Uma Thurman Where: Manhattan, New York, United States When: 08 May 2018 Credit: Rob Rich/WENN.com

I thought it merited a close-up.

Miley in Stella

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9665236hv) Miley Cyrus The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018 WEARING STELLA MCCARTNEY

Miley went with a series of crosses and a deep plunge, which honestly doesn't feel like anything she wouldn't normally wear. It's like the exact opposite of Katy Perry's. That was was achingly literal and this is achingly lazy.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9665236ib) Miley Cyrus The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, Arrivals, New York, USA - 07 May 2018 WEARING STELLA MCCARTNEY

And, hello, sideboob. I hope Stella McCartney was present here because she is NOT busy designing Meghan's wedding gown, as I generally do not think this person's "craft" should be so richly rewarded.

Katharine McPhee in Georges Chakra

She blinged this up as best she could to make it feel evocative of... something... but at the end of the day this is a dress about her pelvis.

Sean Diddy Combs and Cassie

Celebs flock to the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum in NYC Featuring: Sean Coombs, guest Where: Manhattan, New York, United States When: 07 May 2018 Credit: Rob Rich/WENN.com

She looks cool, but she should've saved it for the VMAs or something. He just looks... like Diddy in a suit with a cross, which is basically all he is. I hope Anna rolled her eyes at him mightily and then later will point him to Chadwick, Trevor, or our entire Dudes slideshow that is forthcoming. LEARN, DIDDY.