Alton Mason

Alton didn't need assistants for his big reveal. He simply showed up in a sharp-shouldered cape and then...

... THREW IT OFF. I keep being surprised to look down and see that the pants are not fitted and cut right to the boots.

And now the party starts.

Megan Thee Stallion in Michael Kors

Kors said this is "a little Eartha, a little Josephine Baker, a little swagger." I think he just wanted to make her a bombshell gown, and he MOSTLY did, but...

Truly, on a night where tailoring is the star, this should have been made to measure. It is juicing her boobs into a pulp.

We were overdue for some STAIRS, though, and her cape does sit nicely on them.

Jenna Ortega in Balmain

Olivier Rousteing is so creative. This is made of metallic measuring tape, which is such a cool nod to the idea of tailoring.

Gigi Hadid in Miu Miu

Miu Miu is often CRAZY but this is not one such time. She looks gilded and glorious and deliciously Old Hollywood. It's a reference to the work of Zelda Wynn Valdes, a noted Black designer who made clothes for Josephine Baker -- this references one of their collabs-- and who operated the first Black-owned boutique in Manhattan. She was a huge activist and a fascinating lady.

Cynthia Erivo in Givenchy

Cynthia said that she and Sarah Burton looked at Givenchy's archives and her work at McQueen to come up with this; the bloomers are what they are, but that jacket is exquisite. Apparently there are 43,000 crystals in it.

The red lacing is a sexy touch.

I do like it better when I can't see the knickers.

Tyler Perry

Excellent.

Pamela Anderson in Tory Burch

She's wearing recycled diamonds from last year -- but I think JUST her jewelry, not the dress itself? I also hope the hair is a wig, because it looks like she cut the bangs herself with eyebrow scissors. I am a bit underwhelmed here.

Alex Consani

Well, look, we also need to recycle our Christmas tinsel, to.

Precious Lee

I was not sure what to expect when I saw this from behind...

Precious Lee

... but it was not this. I want to love it, but the boob-pinch and the ankle-bunch are not enticing.

Ciara in LaQuan Smith

I just... well, I mean, I'm sure this IS custom.

Halle Bailey in Coach

Would it kill Coach to make a girl some formal shorts?

Whitney White

She is a Broadway director; I love that Anna invites the theaterfolk, and she looks gorgeous. This fits perfectly. It CAN be done without a blank-check budget!

You're Damn RIGHT We Got a Glittery Eyepatch at the Met Gala

Where else?!?