Kendall Jenner in GapStudio

Thisis just... so DINGY. And so cheap-looking. Not at all light or graceful, and only airy if you include the holes. Kendall and Kylie both wore fake nips and said it was a coincidence, but Kim's SKIMS line sells bras with those built in, so to me it smells like synergy. This whole thing is a silly mess.

At one point Zac implied that Kendall might have a special surprise. This photo did not do anything to make me excited about this, but apparently there was an attachment coming...

And it IS better, but only the top half. The bottom still has those cheap-ass seams. Imagine if he'd made the whole THING look like wings, or cut off the wings where these stop.

Kylie Jenner in Schiaparelli

That skirt IS white, or cream, but there's so much heavy beige in the shapewear that it felt like the standout detail -- which is a real shame considering it took 11,000 man hours, 10,000 pearls, and 7,000 painted pearlescent fish scales to make the rest. The overall effect just feels like something Kim probably already did.

It also seems cumbersome, heavy, and uncomfortable. Pass.

Lux Pascal in Cult Gaia

I couldn't decide if this was metallic, or white, or what, so I went with... dishwater, which ties right in with Kendall. The workmanship is cool, but the fabric spilling from a torso is always a little jarring.

Doja Cat in Saint Laurent

This rubbery look on Doja worked much better than I ever would have thought, probably because of the surprise of using the latex (or whatever it is) for a heavily draped top.

So naturally, she ditched the interesting bit for some nipple hats and shrink wrap.

Gabrielle Union in Michael Kors

This is mostly great, and I'd love to know if the sheer was a pointed choice or just a sexy one. And behind her...

Misty Copeland

... we have Misty Copeland, ALSO in Michael Kors, but a very underwhelming one. The skirt has real potential but the top looks leaden and bland.

It comes alive when she works it, but they are MAKING her work it.

Joe Alwyn

I feel like we NEVER see him in anything but a traditional suit. This is so interesting and suave.

Camila Mendes in Manish Malhotra

It's very... pinchy. With shades of loincloth.

Luke Evans in Palomo Spain

Luke Evans is here to get your bachelorette party STARTED. (He said this is based on the work of Tom of Finland, a famed creator of gay pornographic art.)

Lala Anthony in Wiederhoeft

This is really intricate and neat -- which is great because we looked at it all night long, on the livestream, while she worked.

Ashley Graham in DiPetsa

Ashley really glowed here, but this is definitely undercooked. Maybe even raw. Also, what's up with the dipped finger trend?

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Burberry

She arrived with Daniel Lee, so I THINK this is Burberry. It's better than anything they've put on the runway recently.

Laura Harrier in DiPetsa

This feels very KardJenner, to the point where I'm surprised none of them went in this direction. I guess Kim kind of already did the wet look.

Coco Jones in custom Prabal

I mean this is basically a splotch of tulle?

Maya Hawke in Prada

I threw Maya in here because... well, because we forgot about her and I was being proactive. Sorry, Maya. I almost didn't recognize her. Is she trying to convince people she has Period Piece Face or something?

These Are Two Dismal Jenners at the 2026 Met Gala

Technically the clothes are dismal, not the Jenners.