FKA Twigs in Christopher Kane

By the way, for those who don't know because it's not their job to read Us Weekly, FKA Twigs is a British musician who is maybe possibly engaged to Robert Pattinson now.

Anyway, please drink in the cartoon nipples and her petitely bewanged hip.

FKA Twigs and Robert Pattinson

I enjoy how trippy it is to see his actual flesh hand sitting there amid the fabric ones.

FKA Twigs and Robert Pattinson

And in THIS one the arms seem to be stretching out from his side, like demonic serpent spirits. They do seem happy though. And his tie makes me laugh. It's like a cartoon Hercule Poirot mustache.

FKA Twigs and Robert Pattinson

Oh, wow. In this angle you can see the actual full foot standing there next to hers. I can't. I accept it if this makes me a terribly mundane human, but... I would not watch the animated movie of this dress even if it appeared on my DVR overnight for free. It might as well come with a stamp on the front that says Heather Need Not Apply.

Met Gala Fug Carpet: FKA Twigs in Christopher Kane (with bonus Pattinson)

I am sure this is stodgy of me -- the discourse in the comments of the original runway-show post proves my taste in art does not run along these lines. But in my defense, Christopher Kane in general is rarely my bag of bananas. And while I recognize the intricacy of this, I also find it a) eerie and ocularly painful, and b) a strange choice on a night that's so specifically themed, because even if you are punting on "China: Through The Looking Glass," going in this direction is a bit like giving up the football and then deciding to play tennis while everyone else runs three wide-receiver sets. [Photos: Getty]