Ashley Olsen and Mary-Kate Olsen

I just love this shot of Ashley's dress. It's fine of both of them, actually, but something about the military look and trim lines of Ashley really won me over -- it made me think of how great Kate Middleton looked in that red Catherine Walker coat when she got off the plane in New Zealand.

Ashley Olsen

LOOK. THEY DETACH. Also, it's revealed to be a giant sweater-cape over a gown. I still like it. It's so preppy-posh.

Mary-Kate Olsen

I don't hate this either, but it's a bit fussy for me -- and a bit Meryl for her.

Elizabeth Olsen

I DO hate this. What is UP with Mrs. Prada and nipples? Either she's making sure you show them, or she's darting them in there for you. Also, here you can see how baggy and unflattering this was.

Elizabeth Olsen

The overall dress is very figure-skater, in a way that might irritate actual figure skaters who are sick of us implying that every ugly glittered and netted dress evokes their awesome sport. But it's true. She's going to go out and skate to "Ice Castles" in a second and try not to fall down into a bunch of chairs and GO BLIND. (God, I love that stupid movie.)

Elizabeth Olsen

Meh. And there's a stain on her flank.

Elizabeth Olsen

At this point, these are the only things I can even deal with about this ensemble. NONE of it is Charles James and ALL of it is hideous, so it fulfills NOBODY'S criteria except for, "Don't be naked."

Met Gala Fugs and Fabs: The Three Olsens

There is some confusion on the Interwebs as to which twin is wearing what designer, and I think it's because some people can't tell the twins APART so they're trying to be vague about how they're credited. Ashley is more widely reported to be in Chanel, and she's the one in the gown with the buttons, which LOOKS like it would be vintage Chanel to me. So I'm going with that, which means Mary-Kate's stripes are vintage Gianfranco Ferré. Which also feels right. Elizabeth is in Miu Miu, which feels SO WRONG -- like, I think Mrs. Prada must secretly hate the Met Gala, because she often sends stuff that is both wildly off-point and wildly off-taste. [Photos: Getty, Splash]