Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
The tights throughout this whole show keep distracting me. It's something about the hues and the way they catch the light and almost trick you into thinking it's just... leg makeup, or something. Please God don't let leg makeup become a thing. Anyway: This is shapeless and acceptable. It's like Armani does Girl Scouts.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
All I know is, that bag might be awesome.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This really does nothing for me, but all the flouncy matching separates totally look like things Cate Blanchett will wear.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
That shirt keeps making me think it's the model's chest, and for that reason I hate it, because I don't want to be frightened.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I can live with this.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I can't really live with this.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I do not want even to try to live with this.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This pattern looks like someone woke up in a Miami street one morning and thought, "Those trees look nice from here, and also, I need to puke."
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
TAKE OFF THE PAJAMA PANTS.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Are those shorts? Or a SKORT? Help.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
All of these fabrics look like the worst faded lobby sofas in South Florida condos for seniors.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
That ,or, like, Erin Fetherston for Armani.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I don't even totally know what this person is doing on the runway.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This is the best of them all, I think, and I still don't really care for it.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
For real, I saw that once on a cushion set atop a wicker frame.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
That purple is a nice COLOR, at least?
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Those tights feel like Corpse Legs to me.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Beyond unflattering to a lady's bust.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
It won't stop. Why won't it stop? This whole collection feels like a fashion concussion.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
And I guess this is to dress the doctor who will treat us all.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
It's interesting? But it also looks like it's being slowly eaten by Slytherin.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
And I guess that's Ravenclaw giving birth to itself.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Well, I guess The Left Boob is out of style for Spring 2014.
Emporio Armani - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Here is a close-up of the hair. It looks like something you'd see them make Survivor contestants eat.