Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
If I thought Lindsay Lohan could command some Gucci, I'd say she might kick off her Liz and Dick promo tours swanning around in this and her favorite of the Elizabeth Taylor wigs.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Some unfortunate soul is going to think, "Well, if I cut off the ruffles, it doesn't leave much," and wear it as-is, and then be really sorry when someone mistakes her for a throwpillow.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Do you have a lanai? Then you should have this outfit.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
I'm feeling... one of the younger ladies, maybe Mila Kunis or Emma Stone, in just the skirt. At the MTV Movie Awards.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Oh, Emma. Please don't. STAY STRONG.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Y'all know J.Lo DOES love a dramatic sleeve.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
But she loves a dramatic caftan even more.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
I really thought we were over those bell sleeves, but apparently we've only just begun. If Vanessa Hudgens has any kind of in with Gucci, she'll love that tunic.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
I am SO READY for coat season. Unfortunately, being as I live in L.A., I have another three months or so to wait. And then it'll be over in about three weeks.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
When this happens, and it will happen, it's going to be so unpleasant. I'm having an uncomfortable Kristen Wiig Orders It In Beige feeling.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Jennifer Lopez would ALSO wear this. I really do believe it. She probably has about twelve lanais.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Dear coats: You really are the best. I miss you.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
What a great color. What a suffocating neck ruffle. Which I mean seriously -- I do think whoever wears this might end up with it plastered against all her breathing holes.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
When this blouse gets trotted out, odds are 4-1 we make a sister-wife joke.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
When THIS gets trotted out, odds are 3-1 that I look this up and then say, "When I wrote about this back in September, I noted that the model looked like Sam the Eagle's attorney."
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
I guess it's nice that people can order one of the smother-sheaths in every color. Something tells me Jessica Biel will do this in white.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
This is really kind of a coat-blouse, isn't it? I'm not sure we NEEDED to fuse those two things... it's going to be so weird when we all wear these and then think, "Damn, it's warm in here, why am I still wearing a coat?" and then we remove it and suddenly we're in a bra and wishing we'd been doing crunches for the past 17 years.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
I realize the sleeves are A Look, but if you lopped them off, this would be fine. They make the girl look like she's slowly inflating..
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
What up, Lanaia Twain.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
This is very soothing to me.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Please, lord, can Claire Danes bust this out as maternitywear. It would be tremendous.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
And THIS. This is just funny. She's like a fishnet stocking that got drunk and developed delusions of grandeur. If my children had $10,000 lying around, they'd buy this for me and think it was the greatest gift ever because then Mommy could LIVE THE DREAM of looking like a basketball net.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
This is even FUNNIER. It's mixing hellacious sleeves with transparency, like a witch's brew of Fug Nation pet peeves. I always think of Cate Blanchett as an Armani/iGivenchy kind of girl, but I really want her to wear this just so I can stand up and slow-clap her moxie, and then feel better about how it will prove her mortal, because SERIOUSLY, surely not even the Mighty Blanchett could make this look sane.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
The look on this model's face mirrors my own.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Apparently I can only remember the names of three celebrities, because I looked at this and thought, "J.Lo," and then, "Emma Stone." Maybe Kate Beckinsale will swoop.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
We've now reached the portion of the show where the designer sends out things that are bare-bones and beautiful, just in case someone in the crowd isn't down with Rufflefest 2013.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Hem the pants and they'll look fairly interesting on someone (Kate Hudson?), with a different shirt. Or with this shirt tucked in somehow. Heh. "Somehow." As if the science of tucking in a shirt is really complicated and takes a Hawking-esque mind to solve.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
This might be a race between Kate Hudson and Diane Kruger.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
And then Diane Kruger will realize the shorter one shows off all her legs, so she'll pretend to lose and then snap up this one instead.
Gucci - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear S/S 2013
Oh, lord. I'm going J.Lo again. Well, the woman DOES have a lot of money to burn. Can Kim Kardashian get to it in time?