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# Miss Universe 2017 National Costumes, Pt. 1
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/miss-universe-2017-national-costumes-pt-1/
- Published: 2017-11-27T20:45:15.000Z
- Updated: 2017-11-27T20:18:13.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: Miss Universe, #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:51

## Albania

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/albania3-1511764557.jpeg)

We begin with one that is visually not that arresting, and also, I was just sorting out technical difficulties. However, yes, it does appear she's wearing a bra made of chain mail, which apparently harkens to a tradition? And her name makes me think of Tina Fey's character in SNL's *Girls* parody. Rhyme: "Looking bold in a design that's old." Poor Blerta. 

## Angola

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/angola1-1511764571.jpeg)

This is based on a 17th century queen, and colors typical of southern Angola, and it's STUNNING. I wonder how big the archive is of stuff that's been built for past years. Rhyme: "It's no mystery! She's inspired by history!"

## Argentina

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/argentina5-1511764604.jpeg)

Her costume is based on the tango, and her skirt is supposed to evoke the accordion. And I guess the lamp is... the fire lighting the loins of those who dare dance it?

Rhyme: "You'll dance for days when her accordion plays." Eh.

## Aruba

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/aruba6-1511764625.jpeg)

She came out in a dark cape and unfolded it to reveal something based loosely on the flag. Supposedly it's inspired by gold mines on the island. I am trying to imagine how much late-night wax panicking led to the installation of that extra crotch netting. Rhyme: "Lo and behold, this girl's full of gold."

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/aruba2-1511764614.jpeg)

From behind, it looked so MENACING.

## Australia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/australia5-1511764645.jpeg)

This is meant to evoke the Opera House, and it has functional lights, which you can barely see here but which I saw in some backstage footage. I... do not think this was effective.

Rhyme: "It's no wonder this costume's a hit Down Under." More like I'm feeling no thunder from the costumers Down Under.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/australia4-1511764635.jpeg)

The back's inspiration is supposedly the New Year's Eve fireworks, but it looks like a picture frame my kids made in Kindergarten.

## Austria

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/austria1-1511764655.jpeg)

Austria is really really taking a long shot here with Bertha von Suttner, who is awespme -- the first woman to win a solo Nobel Peace Prize -- but who didn't being visual heat. I would have pandered to the easy splendor of *The Sound of Music*, like the carburator the nuns removed ("She'll glady get plotsy if it means fighting Nazis!" "Mother Abbess, don't panic; we've got a cunning mechanic!") Actual rhyme: "Nothing makes her grin like a Nobel Prize win!" OKAY. Fine.

## Bahamas

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/bahamas3-1511764666.jpeg)

She's clad as the Queen Conch. All the beading is very elaborate in close-up...

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/bahamas4-1511764677.jpeg)

... but from afar it looks a wee like a Science Fair project. Rhyme: "Life sure is swell when you're inspired by a shell!" I would have chosen, "All hail the Queen Conch. If you love her, please honk." No?

## Barbados

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/barbados3-1511764688.jpeg)

This poor girl, clearly clad as someone at Carnivale, skidded on the stairs and nearly fell over. Her face never really recovered from the scare. Rhyme: "If you like Carnivale, then you'll have a ball!" My pick is, "Think Rihanna can't be beat here? OKay, please hold my beer."

## Belgium

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/belgium5-1511764698.jpeg)

This is HELLA dramatic, and congrats to Belgium for delivering drama I did not imagine.

Rhyme: "Inspired by a flag, and some other swag!" OH NO YOU DID NOT. That is a delightful punt. I like, "She's NOT dressed as frites that she bought on the street!" My two days in Bruges.

## Bolivia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/bolivia6-1511764706.jpeg)

She had to turn slightly sideways to get down the stairs. It's both a marvel and kind of a mish-mash, but I'm not mad at it.

Rhyme: "Inspired by flowers, this costume empowers!" Sure. My pick is, "Not even Gisele could wear shrubberies this well!"

## Bolivia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/bolivia8-1511764712.jpeg)

I sort of wish she'd sold ad space on the back, but I guess it's effective.

## Brazil

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/brazil1-1511764719.jpeg)

I must stop here to note that this location is ABYSMAL. It looks like a Coachella rave tent (it's Planet Hollywood Casino in Vegas), and the flashing disco lighting was HIDEOUS and NONE of this shows off the workmanship properly. It's such a shame. This is a rain forest theme, designed to make you want to save them. Rhyme: "It's certainly worth protecting the Earth!" Thanks, hosts.

## British Virgin Islands

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/BVI1-1511764734.jpeg)

Okay, so this is supposed to evoke the beaches that survived the devastation of the hurricane, right? And that's an awful thing that happened to her country. So what do the dipshits say? "It's not a reach to say life's a beach when you're British Virgin Islands!!" YES IT IS. IT IS A REACH. LIFE HAS BEEN VERY DIFFICULT THERE IN FACT. It isn't even open for tourism until 2018 and they've lost loads of money. How about, "Stop trying to rhyme when we're having a hard time."

## Bulgaria

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/bulgaria3-1511764726.jpeg)

"You guys, I'm not going to win. Bulgaria never wins. Let me just look cute with the flag, okay?" Rhyme: "Surely no one opposes a head full of roses!" Yeah, and Moses supposes that his toeses are roses, but we know how THAT goes.

## Cambodia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/cambodia2-1511764741.jpeg)

I wish we'd had a better shot of this, which is made of signature silk. Rhyme: "Who wouldn't be down with a large golden crown like Cambodia's?" I do feel that.

## Canada

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/canada4-1511764748.jpeg)

So she's basically dressed as a snowflake. I love you Canada. You are more than just winter. Rhyme: "Looking nice covered in ice!" Hmm. I prefer, "The idea's half-baked but that's a gorgeous snowflake."

## Canada

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/canada5-1511764756.jpeg)

I just wanted to look at it one more time here. Jokes aside, it really is a striking costume, and one of the few that didn't seem hurt by the silly lighting setup there.

## Cayman Islands

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/cayman6-1511764764.jpeg)

Yep. She's a parrot.

Rhyme: "Not sure if you've heard: She's a gigantic green bird!" ARE YOU EVEN TRYING. How about, "She's wearing it on her back-er, and now Polly wants a cracker." 

## Chile

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/chile4-1511764770.jpeg)

Another mythical bird, which supposedly feeds on gold and silver. I can't tell if that makes it a very smart bird, or a ridiculous bird.

Rhyme: "Everyone behold -- she's a bird that eats gold!" Guys. GUYS. You used "behold" and "gold" once already. At LEAST branch out to, "It might make her iller to keep eating gold and silver!" Or, "She's a creature of myth, but not a Sith." PLENTY of bad rhymes out there.

## China

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/china1-1511764776.jpeg)

Rhyme: "This contestant's plan was to dress like a fan!" No shit, Foolio.

Roxette, in case you're wondering, DOES have the look and IS going to take you on a joyride.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/china3-1511764785.jpeg)

It was such a joyride, in fact, that she took a really long time and the next girl was patiently waiting at the end of the runway. They had to pass each other and China's fan nearly whacked her in the face. DRAMA. 

## Colombia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/colombia5-1511764792.jpeg)

But she soldiered on, because Colombia does not lose her fruit over petty shit. This costume is based on villages where women are known to carry produce in baskets on their heads (no, really, that was the factoid). Rhyme: "This hand-woven suit comes with a handful of fruit!" I would have LED with that and THEN discussed the details, y'all. NOTES. I HAVE THEM.

## Costa Rica

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/costarica2-1511764799.jpeg)

San Jose has a Gold Museum, I guess, so this is decked out in golden peacock feathers and crystals. Or: "If you're a fan of bling, get a look at this thing!" I think they wrote these before these before the show in about ten minutes. How about, "This native production is a golden eruption." Wait, that sounds super pervy.

## Costa Rica

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/costarica6-1511764806.jpeg)

## Croatia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/croatia6-1511764813.jpeg)

"I cannot compete with that. I'm gonna go do shots with Bulgaria." Rhyme: "If you're looking for lace, you found the right place!" I mean, that's accurate. ("Or if you're looking to RACE," joked the one dude, because she zipped in and out so fast. OKAY, I laughed.)

## Curacao

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/curacao7-1511764820.jpeg)

She ALSO tripped down the stairs, but she never stopped smiling. Bravo. And YES, she is actually meant to be dressed as a traditional ceremonial layer cake.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/curacao8-1511764827.jpeg)

Oh, and: "It doesn't hurt to dress like dessert!" I feel you, Rhyme Generator. I feel you.

## Czech Republic

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/czech3-1511764835.jpeg)

She modernized a folk costume, which I guess means, "Added a sheer part." Of course. Rhyme: "Looking fine in this floral design!" How about, "If you're feeling unsure-ish, add tulle for a flourish!" Or, my personal preference, "This feels half-hearted; your chance just departed."

## Dominican Republic

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/dominican4-1511764849.jpeg)

But HERE WE GO. That is awesome. Rhyme: "This butterfly sure caught OUR eye!" Ugh. TRY. Here's one: "This monarch's reign runs hot in our veins." No. That's dumb. I need more time.

## Dominican Republic

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/dominican3-1511764843.jpeg)

Let's marvel at how she can even SEE with that on her head.

## Ecuador

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/ecuador4-1511764865.jpeg)

Ecuador had three different vistas on her arms -- the coast, the mountains, and the Galapagos -- and apparently the costume itself weighs 22 pounds. She also worked the HELL out of it.

## Ecuador

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/ecuador1-1511764857.jpeg)

## Ecuador

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/ecuador5-1511764872.jpeg)

"This costume is grand and represents her great land," they cooed. My version: "Her three-layer skirt did NOT disconcert!" Or, "That intricate skirt should hit pay dirt," or, "She's wearing that skirt and I'm in a sweatshirt." Wait, that's too personal.

## Egypt

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/egypt2-1511764880.jpeg)

Egypt had to come out there on a weekend after some serious domestic strife, and that had to be hard for her. She kept it brisk and all-business. Rhyme: "Nothing is cooler than this female ruler!" I will take it. That beats, "Buzz off, King Tut. It's ladies' night, what-whaaaat!"

## El Salvador

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/el-salvador1-1511764888.jpeg)

And then OH YES THIS WOMAN DID ROW ON-STAGE.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/el-salvador3-1511764896.jpeg)

She is WEARING A BOAT BASKET.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/el-salvador7-1511764910.jpeg)

This, naturally, created some drama when she reached the stairs. She tried to go down both regularly and by side-stepping, but couldn't navigate her craft.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/el-salvador11-1511764917.jpeg)

So, she just stood there and pantomimed rowing for a while. IT WAS GLORIOUS. Putting steps in this thing really is such a cruel test.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/el-salvador6-1511764903.jpeg)

I gather it's based on a folklore tale in which lovers can only be seen by the pure of heart. The douche host stalled for a bit and then was like, "Might wanna clean up some of your feathres on the way out!" ASSHAT. SHE CAN BARELY MOVE. Rhyme: "If your heart is pure, one thing's for sure, you'll like El Salvador!"

## Ethiopia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/ethiopia1-1511764924.jpeg)

"A sight to be seen, this was made for a queen!" went the rhyme, and that pretty much describes the garment's inspiration, so. Accuracy in poetry.

## Finland

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/finland2-1511764931.jpeg)

This is vintage! It was made in the 1950s, and though she said she wore it to honor Finland's independence-aversary, it also feels like, "My real costume got MESSED UP in my suitcase and this was cheap to FedEx." Rhyme: "Truth be told, this costume's QUITE old." Mine is, "This costume is bland, and feels so unplanned."

## France

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/france2-1511764938.jpeg)

This was "designed by a famous French fashion house," no credit given, to honor French fencing in the 2024 Olympics in Paris (are they... honing in on running the table in that sport?). The cameraperson here fudged it, because the feed never got a full shot of France's get-up. Her mask is bejewelled, as is the epee. 

## france6-1511764946

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/france6-1511764946.jpeg)

She also had France-themed socks, because she is THOROUGH and she believes in accessories. Rhyme: "If you're good with a sword, you might win the award!" Fair enough.

## Georgia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/georgia2-1511764954.jpeg)

"She went ahead and wore something red" is the best anyone could do here. I look at this and think it's something Anne Boleyn would wear to stir the pot at her execution. "If she's gonna lose her head, she'll do it in red!"

## Germany

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/germany4-1511764967.jpeg)

I'm not trying to deny Germany's fairy-tale heritage, but Sexy Snow White is for Halloween, not the national costume parade.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/germany3-1511764961.jpeg)

And you'd BETTER BELIEVE she pretended to take a sexy bite out of a sexy apple, because I guess... being sexy-poisoned is all part of the vibe.

Rhyme: "Looking all right, dressed as Snow White!" That is so lukewarm. "I guess she looks fine, but that pick wouldn't have been mine!"

## Ghana

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/ghana2-1511764974.jpeg)

She has a crotch window in her dress, which is bold. The rhyme even says, "A peacock feather holds this outfit together!" That's not *all* that's doing it, girl.

## Great Britain

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/GREATBRITAIN4-1511764981.jpeg)

She is dressed like a crown. And a fancy dish. Both, I guess, hallmarks of the monarchy. Real talk: She's evoking Elizabeth I. But I wish she'd come as Tower Bridge or something. COMPETE. Rhyme: "Not sure if you've seen, but she's dressed like a queen!" YES THAT'S THE RUMOR THANKS. Had this happened today, they could've said, "She's got as much sparkle as that ring on Meghan Markle."

## Guam

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/guam3-1511764988.jpeg)

Guam kept it really simple, and who can blame her. It's been fraught for Guam, and Comedy Twitter thinking it's cute to make cracks about not knowing where Guam is can't help matters.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/guam5-1511764995.jpeg)

"GUAM," her stomach is saying. "GU. AM. GUAM. IT'S A THING. STOP ACTING THE FOOL, COMEDY TWITTER." Rhyme: "It's a snap to dress up like a map!" It would be, IF SHE HAD BEEN WEARING ONE.

## Guatemala

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2017/11/guatemala3-1511765002.jpg)

This is unreal -- it's based on a tradition of flying kites over cemeteries to scare away ghosts -- and IT SPINS. She totally stood there and whirled it at the top of the runway. Rhyme: "We're happy to say she'll keep evil at bay!" I mean, or, "Give it a spin and she might just win.' You're in Vegas! Embrace it.

## Guyana

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/guyana3-1511765008.jpeg)

"Feathers and beads are all this costume needs!" they said. Well, and the five people it apparently took to pack it.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/guyana6-1511765016.jpeg)

She did not walk the runway either, which is a shame. I feel like you HAVE to lose points for wearing something that elaborate -- but which is less tricky that other people's -- and not proving you can saunter in it.

## Haiti

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/haiti4-1511765023.jpeg)

Women make up 60 percent of the workforce in Haiti, and this was inspired by that. I have to give props to the rhymer hers: "Her country's surviving because the women are thriving!" GET IT, HAITIAN LADIES.

## Honduras

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/honduras4-1511765037.jpeg)

My favorite detail here is that when asked what three words she'd use to describe this, Honduras said, "PARTY PARTY PARTY." I love her. I mean, yeah, it represents someone who fought colonization, but PARTY is also important

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/honduras2-1511765030.jpeg)

And yes, she DID pose with that bow and arrow. 

Rhyme: "If you want a costume that's fun, this outfit's the one!" I prefer, "If she offers you a shot, make sure booze is what she's got."

## Iceland

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/iceland4-1511765044.jpeg)

That axe is battery-bpwered and LIGHTS UP. "This viking sure is striking," the host said. It's true. We have another viking coming up in Part 2, and I'm curious if they pull the same rhyme.

## India

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/india4-1511765060.jpeg)

India's costume weighed 45 pounds, so she ALSO did not walk the runway, instead choosing to stand up top and fiddle with her prop.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/india2-1511765052.jpeg)

That is beautiful, though. If only she'd traveled just a few more feet with it, after having journeyed across an ocean.

Rhyme: "It takes serious power to lift THIS heavy flower!" Okay, again, we already rhymed flower and power with Brazil. At LEAST get hacky with, "She's dressed as a lotus, and not cellular mitosis."

## Indonesia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/indonesia3-1511765066.jpeg)

This young lady is fierce but kind in the front...

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/indonesia8-1511765080.jpeg)

... and VOLDEMORT IN THE BACK. Reader, I shrieked.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/indonesia4-1511765073.jpeg)

Voldemonkey also has a sling with babies in it, so she kind of... gyrated like... a monkey... with babies? It's called "Warrior of the Orangutan," and it's to protest deforestation. "Give a round of applause for this costume with a cause," said the hosts, and I will, but also it legit freaked me out when she turned around.

## Iraq

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/iran4-1511765124.jpeg)

"It's a blast bouncing from future to past with Iraq!" they bubbled. And I guess this is a futuristic take on traditional garb? It's beautiful, for sure.

## Ireland

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/ireland3-1511765131.jpeg)

"I am Wonder Woman meets a butterfly meets Slytherin, and I am SO GLAD I got to come out before Israel." (In fact she DID call it "modern-day superhero.")

Rhyme: "Looking stylish, she's undeniably Irish." Why NOT.

## Israel

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/israel4-1511765139.jpeg)

"And I am Wonder Woman meets Wonder Woman. Seriously, everyone, do you KNOW how happy I am my year is the one where we're all obsessed with Gal Gadot?!? DIG MY SHIELD."

Rhyme: "Stealing the show, dressed as Gal Gadot!" Gal was Miss Israel 2004\. I hope she ALSO, prophetically yet inexplicably for the time, dressed as Wonder Woman.

## Italy

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/11/italy1-1511765147.jpeg)

Italy is another one who didn't move. It was provided "by a well-known designer who is also the host of an event that takes place along the Grand Canal of Venice," was the only factoid. Um, okay? That's vague and unsatisfying. The rhyme was, "This outfit's a salute to a country that's shaped like a boot," which makes me laugh because ...what ELSE are they even supposed to say? There's no real explanation for the outfit. "No one wanted their name in this whole costume game," is basically what's happening. Poor Italy.

[Miss Universe's National Costumes, Part 1This has everything: chain mail, a boat, bad poetry, beautiful colors, and a light-up axe.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2017/11/guatemala3-1511765002.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/miss-universes-national-costumes-part-1-11-2017/)