Adriana Lima in Nicolas Jebran

I imagine her at home standing in front of a mirror in this crazy thing, chanting, "Rihanna walked so that I could run."

Sara Sampaio

She was right to edit out the teddy-bear t-shirt, but maybe she would have been even MORE right to order up an actual real bodice.

I wanted this to give better Stair Shot, too.

Georgia Fowler

Nipples are often on the menu at Cannes.

Winnie Harlow in Off-White

And THIS came down the runway with giant gold scissors. Never thought I'd say this, but I miss the scissors.

Olivia Culpo in Giambattista Valli

When wrangled energetically, this is okay...

Olivia Culpo in Giambattista Valli

... but when it isn't, it's just kind of a mess.

Petra Nemcova

This reminds me of the one SWINTON just wore, and while I like it better, I implore the universe not to deploy a third.

Leonie Hanne

Leonie is dressed as the Dynasty set: a chandelier and a bearskin rug.

Madalina Ghenea

It almost looks like they didn't finish it in time.

Lena Mahfouf in Stephane Rolland

That's a lot of side everything. (I guess she's a YouTuber, but whatever, we'll put her here. She's probably modeling for SOMEONE at some point.)

Hofit Golan

I wish we could've seen where the top half really wanted to go.

Stella Maxwell in Boss

This is almost shockingly simple by comparison. It really works on her - and it should, as it's custom.

Shanina Shaik

I guess the mandate was "just make the top and sew it to something sheer and we'll let her nylons do most of the work." Sadly for her, I have never worn a pair of nylons that particularly wanted to do much work for very long.

Izabel Goulart in David Koma

Very reptilian.

Frederique Bel

Free the pelvic bone, I guess?

She's freeing a fair bit of buttock as well.

Isabeli Fontana in Roberto Cavalli

This is another one that seems almost tame compared to some. It does need a hoik.

Helena Gatsby

It's the formal shorts version of the Maneskin guy's suit.

Tessa Brooks

Standard Cannes fare. (Another YouTuber. They're coming.)

Larsen Thompson

This is pretty much fine.

Hana Cross

OOOH, and I love this. It's a surprise happy ending. Well, except for the fact that we have one more dress.

Elsa Hosk in Valentino

This is not quite the same as what Nicola Peltz Beckham wore to the Met Gala, but it's SO similar -- it's really just a different, opaque fabric. It wasn't great then, and it's not great now. It's also ESPECIALLY weird to me to see something that (more or less) went to the Met Gala getting repeated. Has everything REALLY been worn from this and we need to go back around and start another lap? Surely not.

Many Models Turned Out For Elvis

This was not a surprise.