Demi Lovato

If the whole THING here had been sequins, you could have at least convinced me she's angling to play Cher. But the depressingly deployed khaki boot-cut pants and its half-sibling make her look like she time-traveled from The Gap at the turn of the century.  

It's even worse from the side. She should NEVER have consented to be visible from the right. Actually, maybe she should have brought a desk with her and just sat behind it all night.  

Halsey in Off-White

Death is not an option: Do you wear Demi's outfit, or Halsey's? At Demi's isn't designed to look like she just completed a muddy obstacle course, and she isn't wearing a jacket as a NECKLACE.  

Nicole Richie

One way to make you forget how badly cut that jacket is: Place it between Bella Thorne and this next one.

Bella Thorne

All credit to Bella for effectively figuring out a way to make a full sweatsuit seem dressy. And hey, at least she's not being all hammy and irritating on the red carpet.

with Patrick Schwarzenegger

Oh.  

Yeah, okay, I ate those words. Amusingly Patrick might as well be a cardboard cutout in this situation. He's got an arm and he'll just be there looking impassive no matter who you slot into his crook.

Bellamy Young

Take a breath. Enjoy this sweet blast of sanity. Venture forth only when you feel balanced.

Bebe Rexha

This puts the "STAT!!!" in "Monistat."  

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Another deep breath. SMG will make you feel mildly safe again.  

Francia Raisa

And actually Francia, a.k.a. the actress who apparently gave Selena Gomez a kidney, also looks very good. And chill. Put-together but not strained.  

Well. Sort of.  

Jada Pinkett-Smith in Gucci

If I'm not mistaken, a jungle cat is leaping across her plaid-swaddled torso. But Jada in tartan is a fun diversion, so I'm IN, friend.  

Kesha

Kesha ALSO packed a jacket, and I spent an uncomfortable amount of time trying to sort ouf whether her left thumb had been severed at the tip somehow, or... what. Turns out it's just jabbing itself into the button. PHEW.  

I think she might need to tone down the makup with this, but it's all surprisingly fun on her until we get to the boots. You don't need to deploy ALL your whimsy in one night, Kesha.  

Sarah Hyland

Sarah looks great, and also as if her feet and some other portions of her body recently OD'd on baby oil.  

Niall Horan

Top-to-toe, I'm into this. Speaking of: Which boy band do we think was the most talented up and down the roster? I'm gonna argue it MIGHT be One Direction. Sorry, NSYNC. It was close. Maybe tomorrow the pendulum will swing back to you

Liam Payne

There is nothing cooler or more universally relatable than a shirt promoting a Calabasas adidas store.

Yael Grobglas

It would be wrong to say I like this, but I do ALSO think she looks adorable in it, so. Times are confusing.

Chrissy Metz

This just feels like her stylist told her it was an ACTUAL ball (although I like the dress on her).   

Skeet Ulrich

And someone must have told Skeet Ulrich that the Jingle Ball was a place to come take a long nap. As he's clearly in need of one.

Hailee Steinfeld

Do you think Hailee wore those pants because she can't SEE them past her massive flea collar

Taylor Swift

And we close with the brief return of Ms. Taylor Swift, who looks unexpectedly like she bought this outfit at Ross. For someone who often used to perform looking like a very glamarous sequined car hop, this is new. And gritty "I just rolled in from the Camarillo outlets" Taylor Swift IS a bit more of that "Old Taylor is dead" vibe, so... stay tuned, I guess. Also keep your eyes open the next time you're at Ross. You never know.

Why Has Demi Lovato Done This?

And other misses, with occasional hits, from the Jingle Ball.