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# Mostly Well Played: Jessica Chastain in Chanel at Couture Week
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/mostly-well-played-jessica-chastain-in-chanel-at-couture-week-07-2016/
- Published: 2016-07-06T16:00:29.000Z
- Updated: 2016-07-07T17:21:37.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: Well Played, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-10-07 07:49

JESSICA: Hey, Karl!

KARL: Blasphemy!

JESSICA: What?

KARL: *Hey* is for the casual, pet. Be ORNATE. Dip yourself in Fancy. Coat yourself in flakes of sophistication and then plunge like a nymph into hot cosmopolitan oil. SIZZLE.

JESSICA: *Bonjour*, then!

KARL: If we must. Pray, why are your hands stuffed in your pockets? That skirt is not a turkey and you are not sage-laced bread. Poultry arms are for the meek. UNCAGE YOURSELF.

JESSICA: I will, okay, su... I mean, *oui*, *bien sur*. I guess I'm nervous? This blazer is fantastic, and the skirt is great, but... why is ... I don't mean to question your...

KARL: An ellipsis is an insult without letters.

JESSICA: Oh, wow, I never...

KARL: I believe it was Plato who said, "Hashtag Yolo."

JESSICA: *What*?

KARL: Do not beat around the bush. Occupy the bush. Stand up in the middle of the bush and shout, "I WILL NOT BE GARDENED."

JESSICA: Fine, yes, okay. It's the bra, Karl. It's distracting. Right?

KARL: *Certainty* and *correctness* are antagonistic bedfellows, sated by hate sex.

JESSICA: This whole thing is so chic and yet everyone is staring at my underwire.

KARL: I believe it was Sartre who said, "Existence precedes essence."

JESSICA: Yeah, that one is right, but...

KARL: You are responsible for your own actions. The bra existed, so you used it. Do not make me the demon jailer of your feminine Alps. It was you.

JESSICA: But nipples aren't really my brand.

KARL: Branding is for the thirsty, my child. BE SLAKED.

JESSICA: So just to recap, this thin blouse and my bra and stuff are my fault, and... there was a bunch of stuff about poultry and hate sex.

KARL: I took a voice memo. I shall electronic-mail it to you posthaste, so that learning might be the spawn of our provocative tango.

JESSICA: ... Deal.

\[Photo: Getty\]