MTV EMAs 2018

Hailee Steinfeld in Armani

Bilbao Exhibition Centre hosts the 25th MTV Europe Music Awards in Bilbao, Basque Country in Spain. Featuring: Hailee Steinfeld Where: Bilbao, Basque Country, Spain When: 04 Nov 2018 Credit: Euan Cherry/WENN

This does not seem like an outfit one wears in public. It's like a costume that butterfly-based alien species creates for a bunch of Rockettes that they kidnapped.

Halsey in Raisa & Vanessa

Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (9960443dv) Halsey 25th MTV Europe Music Awards, Arrivals, Bilbao, Spain - 04 Nov 2018

And I believe she was conjured when a slumber party misused its Ouija Board.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (9960443dz) Halsey 25th MTV Europe Music Awards, Arrivals, Bilbao, Spain - 04 Nov 2018

Just in case you wondered.

Lindsay Lohan in Saint Laurent

Bilbao Exhibition Centre hosts the 25th MTV Europe Music Awards in Bilbao, Basque Country in Spain. Featuring: Lindsay Lohan Where: Bilbao, Basque Country, Spain When: 04 Nov 2018 Credit: Sean Thorton/WENN.com **Not available for publication in Spain, France**

This could be worse? It's hard for me to get enthusiastic about anything LiLo does anymore, even if it's above expectations.

Camila Cabello in Alex Perry

Bilbao Exhibition Centre hosts the 25th MTV Europe Music Awards in Bilbao, Basque Country in Spain. Featuring: Camila Cabello Where: Bilbao, Basque Country, Spain When: 04 Nov 2018 Credit: Euan Cherry/WENN

And that's fine, but sort of boring? She'd have looked cuter in Lindsay's dress. Maybe she should've paid her to switch.

Bebe Rexha in Moschino x H&M

Bilbao Exhibition Centre hosts the 25th MTV Europe Music Awards in Bilbao, Basque Country in Spain. Featuring: Bebe Rexha Where: Bilbao, Basque Country, Spain When: 04 Nov 2018 Credit: Dutch Press Photo/WENN.com **Not available for publication in The Netherlands**

You'll be glad to know these clothes look as absurd here as they did when they first debuted.

Jason Derulo

Snazzy, but I don't think the coat looks great with all black underneath.

Jourdan Dunn in Aadnevik

Bilbao Exhibition Centre hosts the 25th MTV Europe Music Awards in Bilbao, Basque Country in Spain. Featuring: Jourdan Dunn Where: Bilbao, Basque Country, Spain When: 04 Nov 2018 Credit: Dutch Press Photo/WENN.com **Not available for publication in The Netherlands**

I am deeply perplexed by this otherwise very pretty dress. The shoes are plastic and beige, and the bodice is built to .... not contain its own support garments?

Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (9960455ai) Jourdan Dunn 25th MTV Europe Music Awards, Arrivals, Bilbao, Spain - 04 Nov 2018

I mean, that is terrible. It looked that way on the runway as well, though not as obvious, and it is PERPLEXING. I guess they're going out of their way to protect a lady's nipple privacy, but this approach almost seems bitterly angry about it.

Dua Lipa

Alexis Colby needs her blazer back. That black pencil skirt cannot intimidate people by itself.

Debby Ryan

This seems almost sane

Evan Ross, Ashlee Simpson

Bilbao Exhibition Centre hosts the 25th MTV Europe Music Awards in Bilbao, Basque Country in Spain. Featuring: Evan Rose, Ashlee Simpson Where: Bilbao, Basque Country, Spain When: 04 Nov 2018 Credit: Sean Thorton/WENN.com **Not available for publication in Spain, France**

They look like an America's Got Talent knife-throwing act.

Nicki Minaj in Versace

Mandatory Credit: Photo by MIGUEL TONA/EPA-EFE/REX/Shutterstock (9960375bq) Trinidad and Tobago singer Nicki Minaj poses for photographers after receiving the Best Hip-Hop Artist Award and the Best Look Award during the 2018 MTV Europe Music Awards at Bilbao Exhibition Centre, in Bilbao, Basque Country, Spain, 04 November 2018. 2018 MTV Europe Music Awards in Bilbao, Spain - 04 Nov 2018

The Phantom of the EMAs is here, inside your mind.

Bebe Rexha

Ask your doctor about Bebe Rexha. Side effects of Bebe Rexha include elephantitis of the biceps, labial wedgies, and fury. Do not take Bebe Rexha if you are pregnant or nursing.

Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj performed with Britpop group Little Mix. I'm not sure which of them I find the most amusing, but I THINK it's the woman to Nicki's right who seems like she is looking at a monitor and can't help but gawk at whatever Nicki is wearing.

Jason Derulo

I assume his song is about FRAGILE leg lamps?

Hailee in Balmain

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Vianney Le Caer/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock (9960535az) Hailee Steinfeld arrives onstage during the European MTV Awards in Bilbao, Spain Spain European MTV Awards 2018 Show - 04 Nov 2018

This was one other outfit, which was covered by a giant neon yellow fur when she first came out, but she shrugged that off quickly. I... might not have.

Terry Crews

Of COURSE I was going to end with this, if possible. DID YOU DOUBT.