Selena Gomez

For real, something about that hair... it's at least a little Star Trek, if not Seaside Heights.

Selena Gomez

And THEN. Selena came out to perform her new single, and THE HORRORS. It is randomly a Bollywood number, so of course, she had a bindi on her face. And danced barefoot in a dress that looks like what you wear to a fundraiser for one of those human-body museum exhibits where they show you what everything looks like without skin.

Selena Gomez

She also had a bunch of beige zombies behind her, and... y'all, it was TERRIBLE. Credit to her for singing live, but the song is awful, and she was way off-key, and out of breath -- which I could understand if she had been doing Britney-level dancing, but she barely did much, which suggests dancing is not her strong suit. What IS her strong suit?

Selena Gomez

"Yeah, I don't know, guys. Is this cute? Is this crazy? Do people actually listen to my stuff? Did anyone even know 'Love You Like A Love Song' was me without Googling it? Should I have danced with a snake? WHO AM I ANYMORE?"

MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: Selena Gomez

As mean as it may have been, I started to love Selena Gomez a bit when Letterman told her he made Justin Bieber cry and she said, "That makes two of us." Especially because, no matter what anyone says (or how anyone backtracks), I cannot be convinced he didn't tee that up for her so that she could sling that exact prepared zinger. So she MEANT that. And right on time, too -- thanks to Fug Madness, diaper pants, and that Anne Frank thing, there has never been a better time to disassociate oneself from Bieliebers, or however you spell that atrocious word. However, it is not the time to turn around and connect yourself with Jersey Shore On Ice. RETHINK. [Photo: Getty]