Christina Aguilera
Full disclosure: Christina is sort of all right on The Voice. That may sound like faint praise, but I have only caught her in snippets, but she seems like a good choice for one of the four coaches, and she's surprisingly present in a way that Jennifer Lopez also is on Idol. And this outfit actually could be really, super cute, if she didn't still look a bit like she's partying every night and hoping two tons of makeup the next day will make her look dewy again. Also, her hair looks so fake that even if it's real, it would look better coming out the ass end of a My Little Pony.
Amanda Peet
... and then we get a bad take on polka-dots, courtesy of Amanda Peet, ANOTHER hot mess on NBC's fall schedule. I actually thought she was the one likable thing (read: not hateable) about Studio 60, possibly aside from Matthew Perry, but if you handed her the world's greatest closet she'd still find something in it that looked a mess. Her torso looks like it's in need of a calming salve.
Debra Messing
Debra. You are on a show about a musical. This is terribly sedate. Remember when you did The Starter Wife? Remember this? And this? And the questionable workings of this? We had some good times, Debra. Bring them back. We're going to need more than just sheer sleeves.
Katharine McPhee
If the pants were, say, a pencil skirt, or a mini, I would be willing to have this conversation. But the pants are pants. ENDLESS pants. Footivores. McPheeteaters.
Elle MacPherson
I've said this before about someone, and I will repeat it: HOW LONG ARE THOSE PANTS if they are too long for Elle MacPherson, and are all L.A.-area tailors on strike and I just don't know it?
Maria Bello
I've always sort of liked Maria Bello. Maybe it's because she always looks sort of fake-smiley, like she thinks you and she are having a moment and that you each Get It. If she had been present when I watched Coyote Ugly for the first -- or 12th -- time, we would have shared this exact expression. I do enjoy that she's in all those bright colors. And I might need that coat.
Lauren Graham
Ooh, she looks nice, too. In fact, she's been looking a lot better since she and Peter Krause hooked up. Is he the magic? Do I even need to ask?
Laura Benanti
This actress is lovely -- I remember her from Eli Stone -- but I want more for her than a dress that seems to have commitment issues.
Jenna Dewan
That's a lot of dress competing with a lot of hair. I like, but maybe she should've pulled back the mane. Of course, I'm not one to talk, because I never pull back my hair. That, however, is because I like to hide my face and also am so terrible at things that I don't know how to put back my hair without looking like some tragic, frizzy male French poet.
Gillian Jacobs
Sure! Okay. Hate the shoes, but... for some reason I never, ever have actual formed thoughts about anything Gillian Jacobs wears. It's always sort of, you know, fine. She looks a tad like she's going to start serving the appetizers soon.
Erika Christensen
Well, don't look TOO smug, Erika. It's just a tank top that looks like you bought it from Target.
Christina Applegate
Christina seems shell-shocked that she's been belt-bombed. I feel her. I would be horrified too. It's TERRIBLE, like she's going to turn around and reveal there is a saddle on her back.
Amber Heard
Really, really want to cut this off at the knee. By which I mean the dress, not Hidden Palms' career.
Alison Brie
When I first saw this picture, I was like, "Where did THOSE come from? Does Christina Hendricks do loaners?" And then I wondered if I'd written that post already before, but I can't seem to find it, so... let's just stick with this angle. Pretty girl, but I always imagine her being super slight, and that cleavage is the opposite of slight.
Zachary Levi
A FAUXHAWK, Mr. Bartowski? No. This is not a Jeffster concert. Parenthetically, I wish this were a Jeffster concert.
Peter Krause
But the winner of the Worst Man-Hair At Upfronts award has to be Peter Krause. And that is saying something, because he is going up against a man whose cranial tuft could scrub your Dutch oven. (NOT A EUPHEMISM.) Peter, are you giving Lauren all your divine fashion mojo, leaving your own self a depleted husk? Please power back up again, sir. My eyeballs implore you. As does Tom Cruise, because he really LIKED being the poster-child for Flowbee accidents.