Tadashi Shoji - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
I love the color of this one -- it opened the show and set a pretty solid tone.
Tadashi Shoji - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
How pretty are these? While the cut is simple, the patterns are really lovely -- maybe not something anyone will wear in full-length on the red carpet, but I could easily see the likes of Emmy Rossum cavorting around in a knee-length version.
Tadashi Shoji - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Whereas this is for the Vanessa Hudgens superfan in your life. Dear Tadashi Shoji: Please don't poke the crazy.
Tadashi Shoji - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
I cannot participate in this journey, either. It didn't work for me when Courtney Love was doing it with buckle shoes and smeared lipstick and anguish, and it's not working for me here.
Jason Wu - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
This is the type of gown that, fully lined, would make SUCH a statement at the Emmys if anyone chose to go there. It's like an ode to the Planetarium.
Jason Wu - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Whereas this one is an ode to suspenders. Diane Kruger would probably wear it as-is; lop those off, tone down the skirt, and line it, and I could see Boobs Legsly Reynolds busting it out at one of her events.
Jason Wu - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
... I like the shoes? I'm a little afraid Rachel McAdams will try this. I base that solely on the fact that she just wore a neck wrap, so I've decided this means Michael Sheen likes to give hickeys. THEORETICALLY. Why am I thinking about this? I need to stop drinking at Fashion Week.
Jason Wu - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Methinks Jason Wu also needs to stop drinking at Fashion Week.
Prabal Gurung - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
This is pure Zoe Saldana -- one of those dresses whose context will end up being the deciding factor, but which on her will probably make me happy and on Chastain will make me cry when she wears it with the wrong shoes.
Prabal Gurung - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
This looks like a tongue, maybe. Or an exploded Fraggle. Poor Red. She always was the headstrong one.
Prabal Gurung - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
... I'm feeling the Hustler store.
Prabal Gurung - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Speaking of Fraggles, this reminds me of the really wise old trash heap -- except in a very lovely way. One wouldn't think I mean that as a compliment but I do. She WAS smart.
Christian Siriano - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
For the sheer voyeurism of it all, I want someone to wear this as-is so that I can watch everyone else be all, "BITCH, PLEASE," when she takes up all that real estate on the red carpet.
Christian Siriano - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
This model looks like she's about to vomit all over herself, which is a shame because the dress itself is nice. Why doesn't Siriano dress more people?
Christian Siriano - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
These are all party frocks for decidedly younger actresses -- your lesser Hunger Games tributes and people on ABC Family and maybe a member of the Fresh Beat Band. Wait, except all those people are secretly thirty, so... never mind. Also, I can't believe I just talked about the Fresh Beat Band. But people who don't follow our Twitter should know that my dudes were watching it one day -- they saw an episode where the FBB played basketball and now they want to watch all the episodes just in case there is MORE basketball -- and none other than Casper Smart, a.k.a. J.Lo's boyfriend, was cartwheeling around in a brightly colored cardigan while doing spirit fingers. It was amazing.
Christian Siriano - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Oh, honey, no. This is so refried Boobs Legsly.
Monique Lhuillier - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
It will surprise exactly none of you that I like these. They're so SPARKLY. It's like bait for us.
Monique Lhuillier - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Please, God, don't let Nina Dobrev wear this, because then I'll have to talk about it and I'll have to blah-blah about the yada-yada and SNORE and I love her too much to associate her with zzzzz.
Monique Lhuillier - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
But I think I'd be okay with Nina Dobrev wearing fuchsia leather. SOMEBODY has to try it.
Monique Lhuillier - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
This looks like a candlestick. Which I've mentioned before recently about other things, so apparently I'm really into candlesticks, or Clue, or Clue. Man, I wish this would drop onto Wadsworth's head while he's allegedly NOT shouting.
Monique Lhuillier - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Kristen Bell?
Monique Lhuillier - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Okay, is it just me, or is this a weird hybrid of those two craptaculars that K.Stew and Charlize wore to the Snow White premiere in London? You know the ones. Black, naked, transparent... Yeah, THOSE.
Monique Lhuillier - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Lily Collins likes to wear this kind of Lhuillier; line the skirt and she'd be all over this.
Monique Lhuillier - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
We've been seeing a LOT of patterns everywhere. Sometimes it feels like it'd be a miracle if all of them made the red carpet. Or any of them.
Monique Lhuillier - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
This dress feels like it's hatching. But in a good way?
Rebecca Taylor - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
I want to go to there.
Derek Lam - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
So groovy.
Erin By Erin Fetherston - Presentation - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
Orange is another big hue we've seen. I quite like that one on the far right. Yet another one for an ABC Family junket.
Creatures Of The Wind - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
This is... really terrible. In a way that REALLY DELIGHTS ME. I am waiting for Bjork to discover it and make it her own.
Rag & Bone Women's Collection - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
This looks like something you'd pack for when you throw a cocktail party while you're camping, and yet I sort of like it. Granted, a cocktail party is the only way you'd GET me camping - unless "camping" is code for "staying somewhere clean that has plumbing" -- but still.
Rag & Bone Women's Collection - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
It'd be fun to be this girl.
Peter Som - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
I may need to own this coat.
Suno - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
My children would think I was their HERO if I wore this dress. They are really into phones. Sometimes, if it's a telemarketer, I let them answer. They're three, so it doesn't go well for the telemarketer. They can only listen to a child ramble about soccer monsters and basketball robots for so long.
Alexander Wang - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
AND THEN THESE. I can't wait until human zebras are a thing -- you know, aside from something SNL's Stefon would see at New York's hottest club.
Alexander Wang - Runway - Spring 2013 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
And this dress looks to me like fashion Tetris. And the shoes look like orthopedic braces. Well, I don't like them, but if that becomes A Thing then I suppose I can live with it. My knees COULD use the help.