Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
You're going to be late for the Salzburg Music Festival!
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
Um, also, as a reminder? This is Spring/Summer. The idea of wearing this in spring/summer makes me break into a sweat. Not the cold sweat kind, the HOT HOT kind.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
But Gwen Stefani is calling Marc Jacobs to see if she can get a pair of these shorts like IMMEDIATELY, before her nascent baby bump makes them uncomfortable.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
I do have concerns about this shoe situation.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
It goes without saying that I also have serious concerns about this hair situation.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
Is anyone else suddenly struck with a powerful urge to watch Hocus Pocus? No? Just me? Really?
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
A lot of these feel VERY Lady Mary Descends Into Madness. Like a lot of Jacobs's work, there is at the very least an interesting point of view happening here. I don't always think what he puts together is very FLATTERING but at least it's not boring, which I appreciate. He tells a story in a way that other designers don't. Sometimes it's a really ugly story, but there's always some there there. In this case, the there lives in her husband's attic while he romances the unobservant governess downstairs.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
I feel like Winona Ryder's ordering this one even as we speak.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
And Kiki Dunst has put in her order for this one.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
This, I love.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
I personally tend to think that Marc Jacobs accessories are amazing -- shoes, bags, YES. And yet these shoes make me want to slap myself unconscious.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
I think this will end up being re-imagined for stores in a very cute way, actually.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
And this will be darkly lovely enough that someone -- the right someone -- could wear it on the red carpet and have it counted as a success.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
But no one needs a GIANT TASSEL hanging from her clavicle. Your chest is not a vehicle with which to summon Carson.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
Eh, more of a Diet Coke fan myself.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
The styling on this one feels super Old Lady. Although Marc Jacobs does have a tendency to veer a little Old Lady.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
This feels so 90s to me. Not grunge 90s, but like Amber In Clueless Gets Depressed.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
There's a lot happening here.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
Are these...pants? I'm seriously asking.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
I do LOVE this pattern. Why isn't this on a chair in my living room right now?
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
This would also make a truly glorious chair.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
And I love this. Have I given myself Stockholm Syndrome via the writing of this post?
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
Fraulein Maria's curtains have come a long way, baby.
Marc Jacobs - Runway - Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2014
I am so going to dress just like this, when I'm a crazy old lady. This will totally fly in California -- that pattern feels very SoCal to me -- and, also, I am about six days from officially BEING a crazy old lady. In case you were wondering.