1. Caleb Williams, QB USC, to Chicago Bears
Caleb was the obvious No. 1 pick even though he threw career high interceptions in the SC-Notre Dame game this year I'M JUST SAYING. He's an odd duck -- I read one anonymous quote from a scout who said as much -- but harmlessly so. The side zip and the growing parade of grosses on his pec are unexpected. He also paints his nails, for fun, which I respect. And he danced in place while waiting for the call -- which took an ABSURD amount of time (like 7 of the 10 minutes) considering everyone has known what the Bears were gonna do for MONTHS now. He's a character and Chicago will probably really enjoy that for as long as things are going well.
2. Jayden Daniels, QB LSU, to Washington
He made his coach Brian Kelly look good, which is something. He also makes that suit look good.
3. Drake Maye, QB North Carolina, to the Patriots
He's in UNC colors -- one of the few players who dressed with his alma mater in mind, from what I can see. There was a lot of debate about how smart a pick he would be, and yet somehow also a consensus that he would go at No. 3. He has to inherit Tom Brady's throne, but he even kind of LOOKS like a young Tommy Boy, so he might be fine.
Drake Maye and Sam Hartman
Shoot, how did that get in there? Sorry.
4. Marvin Harrison, Jr., WR Ohio State, to Arizona
Larry Fitzgerald was a legend for Arizona, but he's been gone a while now and they've needed a big-name replacement. Harrison seems as sure a sure thing as you can get, in part because his father was a Hall of Fame receiver for the Colts and so Marvin Jr. knows what the pro life entails. His necklace, in fact, is in honor of his father.
Marvin Harrison, Jr., and Caitlin Clark
And how did THAT get in there? Ah, but it's useful to contextualize why I'm sort of sad Marvin wore black to the draft. Look at all that color, as he admires the skill of the NCAA women's basketball teams! Look at those sunnies! He could have brought some rainbow thunder to this party.
6. Malik Nabers, WR LSU, to the NY Giants
Now we start skipping, because some guy didn't attend. The Giants declined to trade up for Drake Maye, or anyone else, so they snagged a receiver instead and claim Nabers was always their guy (or, maybe the Patriots asked for too much for their pick). His necklace is his nickname... and his pants are too short.
7. J.C. Latham, OT Alabama, to Tennessee
His cursive J and C lapel pins are a fantastic touch.
8. Michael Penix Jr., QB Washington, to Atlanta
He wasn't there, but he was the biggest story of the night, so he gets a slide from the combine. I gather Kirk Cousins, the veteran who signed a $200 million contract or thereabouts with Atlanta, didn't even know they were LOOKING at Penix, much less any other QBs? I suspect Cousins will be VERY amiable anyway, but that can't feel good. Still, Cousins only has a few years in him, most likely, and it's feasible the coaches figured Penix looks better than anyone coming in the next year or two and that he is worth having Cousins mentor.
9. Rome Odunze, WR Washington, to Chicago
The Bears got someone to throw, AND someone to catch. But why another dark suit?!?
10. JJ McCarthy, QB Michigan, to Minnesota
Minny traded up to get the national champ (albeit only by one spot -- the Jets must have decided they didn't care; they have Tyrod Taylor and national disgrace Aaron Rodgers on the roster). He's QB-05 in this picture, along with some other guys -- or as I like to call this photo, MAN AMONG BOYS, and you know who MAN is.
12. Bo Nix, QB Oregon, to Denver
The Broncos badly need a quarterback to work out for them. Also, yes, apologies for not getting combine photos of every person who declined to attend, but this photo really, really made me laugh. He is pledging allegiance in this shot. To SOMETHING. Probably the shield.
14. Taliese Fuaga, OL Oregon State, to New Orleans
Can you guess where he's from????
15. Laiatu Latu, DB UCLA, to Indianapolis
I assume those are his initial in the lining? FINALLY, someone who knows we want to see ALL the details. (PS GO BRUINS!!!!!- J)
17. Dallas Turner, DB Alabama, to Minnesota
This is so creative and unexpected, and then we get to his beat-up-looking kicks at the bottom. Someone order this man some brogues!
21. Quinyon Mitchell, CB Toledo, to Philadelphia
He looks nice, but again, where is the FLAIR? Also my advice to him is to suck up to Gritty immediately. I know he's an NHL mascot, but you do not want to cross that one.
23. Brian Thomas, Jr., WR LSU, to Jacksonville
VARIETY! I love this. All it's missing is a pocketwatch.
24. Terrion Arnold, CB Alabama, to Detroit
Here we go! Another custom lining! And inside a suit that is WAY more Jessica McClintock than I would have anticipated. I generally am done with the phrase "understood the assignment," but... he did.
27. Darius Robinson, DB MIssouri, to Arizona
And then we get THIS coat, which is a stunning melange AND matches his lenses. Thank you for blessing us, Darius. Congrats on moving to a state with no income tax.
Peyton Manning
Why does Peyton look like he's a course manager at a major golf tournament?
Sam Hartman
Gosh, ANOTHER one snuck in here? How does this keep HAPPENING?